Where to get help

Your GP Nelson Marlborough District Health Board addiction services, Nelson,

Silas House, drug and alcohol treatment centre, Nelson,

Te Piki Oranga Maori health services, drug treatment service, Nelson, gets broken down then I’ve got to build it up again, but asap, otherwise you really are not going to do so well.

‘‘When you’ve had that connection, it’s almost like hearing somebody’s voice and you go ‘‘I’ll just go there, we won’t worry.’’ And that can happen very easily.’’

It had been vital to reach out to a friend as soon as she felt she might give in to the drug. ‘‘I call a friend or I get home from work, I put the car away, pull the shutters, put the phone away. A and D helps you remember stuff, and how to be safe.’’

Karen has had to be honest with her family, and to get over the ‘‘stigma of methamphetamine being so dirty.’’

‘‘All drugs are dirty. I looked at addiction some years back, before meth appeared. So I’ve always been very mindful that I’ve got that disposition. Anything to feel better.’’

She is now focusing on building healthy attachments with her children, to try to ensure they don’t repeat the cycle.

‘‘Self-hatred is the result of lack of love; you want to pour anything on that to block out the mental pain. But if you have an innate sense of personal worth, from being raised with love, you might try stuff, but it instantly feels wrong and out of control, and this is where a healthy self-esteem kicks in and you stop using. Most of the people that I know [who use drugs] they don’t have children, they can sleep all day and that’s not my world, and I don’t want it to be my world.’’