Pot of gold
Dan McGuire (February 18) wrote about the number of workshops held by Nelson City Council during 2017.
Just as concerning as the taking of no notes, is the public excluded sessions at council committee meetings and Audit, Risk and Finance subcommitee meetings where the Mayor and a couple of councillors agree to increasing loans to organisations such as the Nelson Historic Theatre Trust who already owe the council millions of dollars and receive an annual grant.
It would seem that the present Mayor and councillors still believe there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
The #MeToo movement is a good thing. I hope more open and assertive declarations from women about sexual assault and sexual harassment herald a change in culture and that such offensive actions come to be seen as contemptible as other taboo behaviours we condemn outright.
Terrible things have happened to women (and, it should be said, sometimes men) at the hands of men, in particular, men who have taken advantage of their position, thinking they can get away with offensive behaviour just because of who they are.
But #MeToo will be a very bad thing if all men are tarred with the ‘Weinstein’ brush, open to ruination through accusation. I believe that the vast majority of men are as appalled as women at sexually predatory behaviour.
I base this belief on the many good men I know as relations, friends and work colleagues.
As most women have done lately, I’ve thought about my own #MeToo’ incidents and reflected on my reactions and subsequent actions. It’s a complex and fraught issue for women and for men.
Disentangling the politics and dynamics of sexual interactions is not simple, because this aspect of our lives is where we reveal ourselves as most vulnerably human.
Dealing with incidents and subsequent allegations requires the greatest care and thought.
My #MeToo stories are the kind I suspect many women will recognise.
When I was 17 I needed a medical certificate for a holiday job nurse aiding. The appointment was in the early evening. After the doctor greeted me he sent his nurse/receptionist home. I was asked to undress completely and then he ‘examined’ me.
A very innocent teenager, raised in a stable, loving and sheltered environment, I was surprised but trusting. I felt uneasy afterwards but dismissed my feelings. Aside from the intrusive touching, it was his comments that bothered me the most.
No teenage girl feels comfortable when a man in late middle age comments on her developing figure. But working my way towards adult life was full of awkward and puzzling experiences. No doubt, I thought to myself at the time, this ‘examination’ was just another one.
I never mentioned this uncomfortable experience to anyone else and put it out of my mind.
It was a long time before I
But at the same time, he was creepy.
One day he moved over to stand next to me and began touching my hair and face. He asked me to go out to lunch with him and I was trying to remain polite while backing away when another male teacher in the department entered the office.
I can still remember the look of horrified realisation on his face. That situation was quickly sorted out with an office move for me and no further interactions of any nature, professional or personal, with that man were required.
In this situation I was helped and supported by a man, a good man who was appalled and shocked by the actions of another man and who stepped up.
And this example of typically good male behaviour is why I fervently hope that we will not, as a society, descend into a witch hunt against men; that we will not generalise about men’s behaviour.
And it needs to be said that a few women will, for reasons of their own, exploit men’s current vulnerability to accusation.
It is very sad that experiences like these are and have been so common in the lives of women.
As far as I know, neither of these men suffered any consequences for their actions.
#MeToo is a chance to redress the balance, a balance sorely needed by women in every part of society.
But I also believe that black and white, ‘‘hang ‘em high’’ solutions will merely create more victims. And that outcome will not be good for women or men.