Franks’ thuggery is a bad joke
There is a Harry Enfield sketch in which a fictional Chelsea footballer called Didier Peskovic takes a bazooka and blows off the legs of an opposing player. When he is ordered from the pitch, Peskovic kicks out at one of the severed limbs in frustration. His manager Jose Arrogantio (Mourinho) says that he is not happy with the decision, but tonight he he will have a nice Chinese meal with his wife and then he will be happy.
Well, thank goodness for All Blacks discipline, I hear you say. Owen Franks would never kick out at an opponent’s severed arm in the unlikely event that he were ever ordered from a pitch. Franks would accept the referee’s decision, chill out in the gym and try not to get caught the next time. It’s called technique, according to the All Blacks coach.
Bad technique is when you are caught on camera, prompting the TV commentator to observe: ‘‘Franks tries to bury a forearm through James Parsons’ face.’’
The All Blacks prop uses the horizontal forearm in order to pretend that his various acts of assault are genuine attempts at cleaning out the ruck and maul. But it is funny how he always seems to bind properly when driving one of his own players and always seem to produce the forearm smash when wanting to shift an opponent.
There is no doubt that Franks would have received a red card but for World Rugby’s unfortunate regulation that states: ‘‘The match officials may suggest that the referee refers the matter to the TMO for review if they observe an act of foul play (prior to the next restart in play).’’
In other words, if a lineout or scrum or the like has occurred before the ref hears about an act of thuggery, then there is nothing he can do about it. Referee Glen Jackson would like to have shown Franks a red card, but he had no option but to let him continue. You could have 20 phases of play and a ref could send a player off at the end of it, but one quick lineout and he walks free. Very odd.
But not so odd as the decision of the New Zealand judiciary which gave Franks a two weeks suspension. Conveniently he will be able to play in the French tests.
QC Nigel Hampton ruled: ‘‘The Foul Play Review Committee deemed the act of foul play merited a mid-range entry point of four weeks. However, taking into account mitigating factors including the player’s good record over an extensive playing history which includes only one previous judicial sanction, his expressed remorse and apology to the other player, and the player’s guilty plea at the first available opportunity, the Foul Play Review Committee reduced the suspension to two weeks.’’
This is absurd. Franks used the same technique to smash Josh Hohneck in the face in 2015. Comically he missed him the first time, so he went back and had a second go. One website suggested that not even Jose Mourinho, aka Arrogantio, would dare argue a ban for this one.
The following year Franks scrabbled about in the eye of Kane Douglas. Future World Rugby vice-president Agustin Pichot and former All Black Nick Evans both expressed their distaste. Most of the world thinks that Franks is a dirty player. But shamefully he continues to all but get away with it.
It does not help that All Blacks coach Steve Hansen continues to defend the indefensible. Hansen said of Franks and Moody: ‘‘Both guys we’re talking about have been out [injured] for a wee while, and were probably a little rusty in their techniques. They just need to have a look at themselves and give themselves a wee uppercut and get on with it.’’
One is reminded of the reaction of Arrogantio when Peskovic had just put the corner flag through the groin of an opponent. Arrogantio said: ‘‘Very small incident. I think maybe the referee have a testicle through the eye. It was a testicle. It’s not the end of the world.’’
Arragantio then turns and puckers a kiss for the camera. Mercifully, Hansen doesn’t go that far.
But good on Tana Umaga for speaking out. The Blues coach said: ‘‘There are protocols around contact with the head. That’s the fact about it. First and foremost safety of our players is what we’re looking for. We had two guys come off there. I’m sure there will be questions asked and there should be.’’
Asked why Franks wasn’t punished, Umaga said: ‘‘There’s no doubt we’ll challenge it. We’ll ask the reasons why and who’s accountable for it.’’
I’ll get back to you Tana, but I’m fairly sure, no-one is accountable. Then again, a few Lions supporters might say, you would know all about that.
It appears no-one is accountable in the southern hemisphere. Australian lock Rory Arnold received a three-week suspension from Hampton for a disgusting tackle on Lions firstfive Elton Jantjies. Jantjies had turned his head and given a pass, when Arnold, a huge man, smashed his shoulder into Jantjies’ jaw.
Arnold was given a mid-range entry point of six weeks reduced to three because he doesn’t drop old ladies with a swinging arm in the street. Compare it with the tackle which earned Munster’s Sam Arnold three weeks earlier in the year, and there appears to be different rules for Arnolds depending on which hemisphere you are in.
Oh well, at least it’s not league. They actually sent a player off at the weekend for the first time in three years, a sanction which has appeared roughly once in every 1500 games over the previous five years. The Storm’s Curtis Scott broke his opponent’s eye socket with a punch.
The victim posted online: ‘‘Talk s... get hit ... well done, sir.’’
Scott received a two-week ban. I recall Russell Packer getting a two-year prison sentence for a civil assault which involved breaking a man’s eye socket and stomping on his head. Maybe the police should bring charges against Scott, because it is quite clear Aussie league is incapable of even spelling ‘‘duty of care’’.
It appears no-one is accountable in the southern hemisphere.