Private cremation fires up death discussion
A Golden Bay man has had his dying wish fulfilled – an outdoor cremation amongst nature and friends.
The unusual private cremation service was held for Lee Endrodi on farmland near Takaka last Saturday, a few days after he lost his battle with cancer, aged 52.
Wanaka man Joel Van Riel was among those who helped Endrodi’s friends build a concrete block kiln for the service.
Van Riel had farewelled another friend in a private cremation in Wanaka only a few days earlier. At that service, he spoke with mutual friends of Endrodi, who he described as an old moutaineering friend. Keen to reconnect, he visited Endrodi in hospital and heard about his wish for a private cremation.
‘‘Lee was in bad shape, but we had a fantastic reunion and we talked about the realities of dying – because most of us don’t confront that until we’re at death’s door.
‘‘He did have Buddhist beliefs – he said he wanted to be burnt at the beach. I said, ‘What? You’re not going to believe this, but . . .’. That set the wheels in motion, and I got passed the baton.’’
Van Riel’s involvement with the Wanaka service meant he knew the planning issues involved.
‘‘It was phenomenal once the word was out there – in Takaka, a lot of the materials weren’t available, and I only had a short time to make it happen.
‘‘So I got on the phone to some local blocklayers, and one of them said, ‘Come on round’, and we loaded up a truck. He gave us a mixer and said he’d be round later to drop off some gravel – all from a guy who didn’t know us from a bar of soap.’’
A local farmer offered a site for the service on his property, with bushes and amongst nature.
Van Riel returned to Central Otago for work but came back to finish preparations for the funeral. In his absence, Endrodi’s friends took up the challenge of building the kiln.
‘‘We just spent that time talking about all the things we shared in life together – we were really lucky we had a week to catch and his dream was to die at home and not in a hospital bed.’’
Last Saturday, Van Riel farewelled his friend in a ceremony that took 20 hours. About 100 people gathered to bring Endrodi’s body – wrapped in muslin cloth – through the forest with his casket.
The ceremony itself proceeded in a more orthodox fashion – with speeches and time to remember Endrodi’s contribution to the world, after which the pallbearers loaded him into the kiln and closed the door.
‘‘People stayed on through the night, and they’d put a bit of wood on and be on their way,’’ Van Riel said.
‘‘It was remembrance the whole time, and as you’re there, our friend was literally turning into light and disappearing into space.’’
‘‘For me, it’s such a spiritually healing process – and every single person there felt the same.’’
The next morning, the deconstructed kiln was removed from the site and the remaining ashes were collected for scattering.
Van Riel said he hoped to go out in a similar fashion, and had collated as much information as he could on the process to pass on to the next person wanting to follow suit.
He said the potential of a community kiln to carry out similar ceremonies was something he believed should be considered by the wider population.
Tasman District Council community relations manager Chris Choat said no resource consent was required for Endrodi’s cremation, while all such cases were managed by the Medical Officer of Health of the local district health authority.
‘‘They give the certification because it’s all about death as opposed to big fires – so that was all well-planned, and we were aware locally.’’
Nelson Marlborough Public Health Service Health Protection operations manager Sonya Briggs said the Medical Officer of Health (MOH) needed to be assured that a number of requirements had been meet.
These included an appropriate site that was out of public sight and neighbouring properties, met local authority requirements bylaws and fire permits, adequate expertise and preparation being shown, and consultation with affected parties,
It also required that arrangements were made for the subsequent disposal of the ashes and other material connected with the cremation, and that the site was fully restored post-cremation.