‘Marrying the love of my life and her family’
On the eve of the six-month anniversary of the Christchurch terror attacks, Tyla Harrison-Hunt and Saba Kahn-Hunt talk about overcoming religious and cultural challenges for their Ma¯ori and Pakistani families. Jody O’Callaghan reports.
Tyla Harrison-Hunt was a ‘‘young Ma¯ori boy from Christchurch’’ when he instantly fell in love with a Pakistani Muslim Kiwi woman.
He met Saba Kahn-Hunt through friends when they were teenagers.
He surprised his non-religious wha¯ nau when he converted to Islam aged 22. Then he surprised KahnHunt’s family when he asked for her hand in marriage.
The high performance basketball coach, now 28, has become an advocate for peace, forgiveness and resilience both here and abroad, after the couple lost friends and family in the March 15 terrorist attack.
When Harrison-Hunt converted to Islam at the Al Noor mosque, his mother did not know what Islam was, ‘‘so she was a bit scared for her boy’’.
‘‘My mum actually thought I would lose my culture. The words she used was: are you going to stop being Ma¯ ori then?’’
Kahn-Hunt’s parents – who moved to New Zealand when she was 7 – had their own cultural concerns about the marriage.
‘‘To be honest, they weren’t that into it because, like Ma¯ori, Pakistanis like their children to marry Pakistanis.’’
Kahn-Hunt said her family went from thinking their cultural differences would be a barrier to a long-lasting marriage to recognising their core values were similar.
Harrison-Hunt said it was amazing how similar tikanga Ma¯ ori was to not only Pakistan principles, but Islam principles.
They were both very familyoriented cultural backgrounds, and very strong in their convictions, he said.
‘‘I ended up marrying the love of my life and her amazing family.
‘‘Now I am best mates with her father, my father-in-law.’’
They had two weddings in March 2018, one Islamic-Pakistani, and the other ‘‘showed them what a New Zealand wedding looked like’’.
It was a dry wedding, so a lot of Kiwis took off early, he said.
Wha¯ nau barbecues involved ‘‘my family drinking ... and my Pakistani family obviously don’t’’, and Harrison-Hunt’s dad, ‘‘the most unPC guy’’.
‘‘But when they get together, it is like they have been together for 20 years. Big curries, big barbecues, big noise, kids running around everywhere.’’
The couple lost friends and family in the Christchurch mosque shootings, including an uncle and a cousin of Kahn-Hunt. Remembered now for his bravery, Naeem Rashid died alongside son Talha Naeem, after throwing himself at the gunman at Al Noor mosque.
Harrison-Hunt, who would usually have been at the mosque, and Kahn-Hunt were in Melbourne on the day of the attack.
Kahn-Hunt’s father was never late to Friday prayers but that day a colleague joked around with him to stop him going. Being ‘‘two minutes late’’ saved his life.
‘‘I think everything happens for a reason,’’ Kahn-Hunt said.
Her first ever experience with racism was the day of the September 11 New York terrorist attack in 2001. She was 11.
Her primary school teacher was in tears telling them what happened as they sat on the mat in class. She felt like everyone was looking at her, she said.
Another child turned to her and said: Well you are Muslim, does that mean you are a terrorist?
‘‘I had to go home and ask Mum and Dad: Are we bad people?
‘‘I didn’t know what a terrorist was.’’
She always felt she had to defend her religion but since the March attack she thought there was more awareness about Islam.
Harrison-Hunt will present at Hard-ly Speaking on Thursday, where he plans to talk about keeping faith in the face of adversity.
He told Stuff he wanted Kiwis to realise people were not all that different from each other.
‘‘Have the openness to see what is under the hijab, see what is under the Islamic or religious clothing ... see who they are as people.
‘‘[But] no matter where you are, racism exists.’’
For Kiwis, it was usually ‘‘banter in the workplace’’ but a lot of people didn’t take it that way, he said.
He faced a lot of issues ‘‘deeply entrenched in New Zealand’’ just being Ma¯ ori.
Racism began in the household, he believed.
‘‘Even in Ma¯ori houses, some people are taught to be angry at the system .... I can understand where it comes from but it is nonprogressive.’’