Gamer son’s room like ‘war zone’

Sarah’s son’s addiction to gaming started in 2014, following a skateboarding accident which forced him to recover at home for several weeks.

But his addiction came with a more troubling issue – out of control rage when he loses a game or when his mother tries to intervene to take the activity away.

According to Net Addiction NZ, *Sarah’s anguish is echoed by an army of other parents in New Zealand with children addicted to gaming.

Her 19-year-old son spends hours in front of the television playing online games for hours, oblivious to his surroundings, the effect of his violent temper or the battle his mother has endured for five years.

‘‘I have called the police on him several times, it has got to that point,’’ she said.

‘‘You don’t even know he is in the house gaming until he loses or something doesn’t go his way.

‘‘Then he just goes on this rampage – his room looks like a war zone.’’

Their Auckland home shows obvious traces of her son’s violent temper – there is a hole in his bedroom door and walls which he kicked, along with damaged light switches. There have been broken windows, laptops, heaters, phones and even decorative candles are not spared.

The bruises and scratches on Sarah’s arms from when he turned his anger towards her have disappeared but she says the memory of it is all still fresh in her mind.

Sarah said the police call-outs at one stage were so frequent that she was calling 105 at least three times a week.

She has also taken him to court, desperate for a judge to force him into a rehabilitation centre to treat his addiction, and placed a protection order against him in 2017.

‘‘He is addicted and he refuses to acknowledge it and we are

suffering ... we are all suffering.’’

Sarah believes her son turned to gaming as a coping mechanism because of underlying mental health problems.

She says she has tried everything to curb her son’s gaming addiction, including hiding the internet modem but he found it and changed the password.

‘‘I even called my internet and power companies and begged them to turn off their services at a certain time every day. He has

been to psychiatrists, psychologists, therapists, different youth support groups – everything.’’

Net Addiction NZ founder and psychotherapist James Driver said there were hundreds of therapy and counselling places for addictions in the country but not much available specific to gaming, and very little consensus about how to clarify or treat it.

Despite it being identified as a disorder by the World Health Organisation, most New Zealand district health boards do not provide treatment for the condition.

Addictions are complex and like any other habit, there are always underlying issues that contribute to it, Driver said.

For Sarah’s case, unless her son admits he has a problem and wants to work on it, any type of therapy would not be effective, Driver said.

Involving police was ‘‘absolutely appropriate’’ if there was violence and aggression, he said.

‘‘If she can’t get help for him, get help for herself. There are many support groups out there for families facing these type of addictions.’’

Sarah holds on to a glimmer of hope that her son will get treatment for his addiction, and that more help will be available for people like him and their families in the future. ‘‘I just want happiness for my boy and I know being stuck in a fantasy world isn’t it.

‘‘I have still got some fight left in me but I don’t want to be fighting any more.’’

* Names have been changed