It’s up to parents to save children from ‘drowning’ online
When you ask Rob Cope what young are exposed to online, he doesn’t pull any punches.
“Suicidal ideation, body dysmorphia, predators, bullying, and pornography: porn is available on every single device your children have, if you don’t have filters.”
On Tuesday, Cope will speak to parents at Waimea College about online safety.
The Wellington man has worked in the online safety advocate since 2018. In 2020, he and his wife released a documentary, Our Kids Online: Porn, Predators & How to Keep Them Safe.
Now, he speaks on panels and at schools, and has created online courses aimed at empowering parents and schools to keep young people safe.
With his talks, Cope attempts to give parents an accurate view of what they’re up against.
“Constant demands to respond to messages, comparing their lives to the highlight reel they see online.
“Teens don’t understand that, and they compare it to behind-the-scenes real life, leading to anxiety and depression.”
The creep of social media and smartphones into young people’s lives has been insidious, Cope said.
“We’ve just kind of allowed this to happen. We just handed it to our kids like it was nothing. We never stop to ask the question, what are they being exposed to?”
A growing body of research showed that online access was “destroying the mental health of children,” Cope said.
“People say, that’s other people’s kids, it won’t happen to mine. But if your kid is a normal human being: your kids, my kids... it will.”
Last month, New York mayor Eric Adams filed a lawsuit against social media companies including Meta for fuelling a youth mental health crisis.
He’s not alone, at least in the US, where hundreds of similar lawsuits have been filed as people begin to realise the social and economic toll of online access, Cope said.
“Parents say, oh but the horse has already bolted,” he said. “That’s such a lame excuse: if your kids are drowning you don’t say, the horse has bolted. You jump in and save your kids.”
Cope’s own teens have devices that are enabled for texts and calls only, and phones aren’t allowed in bedrooms.
He doesn’t buy the “every other kid has social media” argument.
“We’re raising a generation of kids to be like others, we’re not building resilience. At 12, 14, 16, their brains aren’t ready for it.
“It’s like giving them a bottle of vodka, and trusting them to ease themselves into it, instead of giving them half a beer at a family dinner.“
Cope wanted to assure parents his talk isn’t all doom and gloom: there are laughs along the way, and parents will end the evening feeling empowered, with tools to take home.
This includes a year’s free access to The Big Reconnect, Cope’s online safety course for parents.
You can attend Rob Cope’s talk at Waimea College on Tuesday March 26, 7-9pm. Tickets are $10 at trybooking.com/nz/events/ landing/11576.