Readers were invited to create a slogan that might entice alien visitors into buying real estate on Earth. Kaye Bennetts of Whangaparaoa writes: This barren land is yours to let./You may have the solution/For us on Earth. Let’s hope you can/Live with our pollution.
Auckland’s Rex McGregor: Planet Earth’s a hidden gem./We really make the grade./We invite all aliens to invest,/ But please do not invade. Bay of Plenty’s David Wort: Don’t worry, he is not our leader,/ That ranting orange bottomfeeder./Buy here, where no one really rules,/And politics is left to fools.
Rotorua’s Kate Gore: The people will greet you/With fond adoration./ They are sure to ignore/Your strange coloration.
Daphne Tobin of Poirirua: Welcome to Earth. Please take a look around./
Our houses are superb – just ignore the shaky ground. Ben Tombs of Kerikeri: Welcome to the planet Earth./We hope you come and stay./ The climate’s very pleasant,/Getting hotter every day.
Richard Cameron of Hamilton: Warmer than Mars,/Cooler than Venus./ If you’ve come from afar,/You’ll be happy you’ve seen us. Peter Kelly of Christchurch: This habitable world is in a Goldilocks location,/With varied living zones but requiring renovation./It would suit off-worlders of the DIY persuasion.
But Mark Elkington of Blenheim is the winner: Stunning scenery, beautiful views,/An oasis amongst the stars./As-is, where-is./(We’re relocating to Mars.)
For the next contest, send in a verse of four lines or fewer, beginning with Shakespeare’s Shall I compare thee to a … Rhyming is not compulsory. Entries, for the prize below, close at noon, Thursday, August 31.
Submissions: firstname.lastname@example.org or Wordsworth, NZ Listener, Private Bag 92512, Wellesley St, Auckland 1141. Please include your address.