Wordsworth

This week’s challenge was to describe New Zealand in the style of a recipe, using Kiwi icons as ingredients.

Deirdre O’Byrne of Auckland writes: Marinate Moeraki boulders in mixture of fresh Huka Falls, shavings of Te Papa and pinch of merino. Roll in Piha sand, steam with Auckland humidity. Accompany with side of Kaimanawa horse.

Poppy Sinclair of Karori: Take the eloquence of David Lange, mix with the drawl of Barry Crump, stir in the accent of Lyn of Tawa and sprinkle with the giggle of Billy T. Boil till it evaporates in a long white cloud.

A cold and flu remedy from Anne Martin of Helensville: To an Auld Mug add a few drops of tea tree oil, some manuka honey and heat until Burling. Inhale frequently.

Rolleston’s Alan Belcher: Fish of the Day: Take one Te ika-a-Maui

(North Island). Steam to perfection in Whakarewarewa thermal pools. Braise slowly with Ruapehu, Ngauruhoe and Taranaki lava. Season and liberally pepper with Taupo’s Oruanui ash. Calve slowly into uplifting portions and serve on the Australian Plate.

But Christchurch’s Gayle Cook is the winner: A Dieter’s Banquet: one glass of geyser steam, sandfly knuckle hors d’oeuvres, sautéed glow worm antennae, prime rib of whitebait au jus, aroma of an empty pavlova plate and the hole of the Springfield doughnut.

For the next contest, suppose you are the leader of a fictitious party contesting this year’s general election. In a rhyming couplet, send us some far-fetched election promises. Entries, for the prize below, close at noon, Thursday, September 7.

Submissions: wordsworth@listener.co.nz or Wordsworth, NZ Listener, Private Bag 92512, Wellesley St, Auckland 1141. Please include your address.