Wordsworth

Beware of skeletons emerging from closets this week; the challenge called for a brief poem including the opening words to Funnel by Anne Sexton: The family story tells …

John Mills of Gebbies Valley writes: No one’s bettered Aunty’s pies,/Jimmy’s got his father’s eyes,/Mother’s beauty never dies,/ The family story tells some lies.

John Edgar of Christchurch: The family story tells of a dark and murky scandal./Grandad was a union boss, but Grandma voted National.

Waikawa’s Nozz Fletcher: The family story tells of four Master mariners:/ Grandad, who loved the sea/And Dad and two uncles who weren’t so fond of it,/ Especially the torpedo-infested Atlantic/ Which they didn’t find at all romantic.

Poppy Sinclair of Karori: The family story tells of a grandfather sent home,/ Shortly before Passchendaele, a fortunate thing, “No longer fit for war service on account of wounds”/But soon to meet Gran, and fit enough for begatting.

But Porirua’s Daphne Tobin takes the prize: ”He was such a lovely guy,/But really hard done by./He made a fortune in his day,/ Then he gave it all away.”/

But what the family story tells,/never really gels./When he’d go off the grid sometimes,/He’d been “re-located” – for his crimes./He was actually in jail,/Our “dear” parental male.

For the next contest, astound us with some completely bogus “facts” of the kind you might see in lists on the internet. For example: the average person swallows eight spiders every year while they’re asleep. Entries, for the prize below, close at noon on Thursday, November 30.