Wordsworth

This week’s challenge invited readers to describe broken New Year’s resolutions in a four-line poem. Andrea LevarreWaters of Auckland writes: I know I said I’d drink less wine,/You know I meant it at the time./But a little slosh in a tiny glass,/ Will not affect my gravitas.

Auckland’s Barbara Harwood (as Putin): “I promised not to interfere/With other lands’ elections,/Unless I found it could be done/With no chance of detection.”

Anne Martin of Helensville: I made a resolution:/No more G and T./Ah, but I need that lemon slice. /It’s my source of vitamin C.

Bay of Plenty’s David Wort: “Can’t work, please help” scribbled on a sign./His need, my resolution, fatefully align./I toss ten bucks, and then the little swine/Packs up and leaves in a better car than mine.

Auckland’s Rex McGregor: “I’ll act more presidential./I’ll monitor my tweeting./Discretion is essential./

They’ll never catch me cheating.” Brian Somerville of Christchurch: “I, Winston P, do solemnly swear/ To support Jacinda, year after year./Unless the chance to be PM/Presents itself – then I’m off. Amen.”

John Mills of Gebbies Valley: No trouble stopping the smokes,/Or those unacceptable jokes,/But the things that are hardest to axe/Are the endless snacks between snacks. But Auckland’s Margaret More is the winner: Ate all the choccy – was a piggy,/Gained 3kg – my waistline grew./Said #%&* and %#$@, then smoked a ciggy,/And it’s only January 2.

For the next contest, choose a fairy tale or nursery rhyme and adjust it to be politically correct. Send us a brief entry, in verse or prose. Entries, for the prize below, close at noon on Thursday, January 25.