Wordsworth Gabe Atkinson

Wordsworth’s inbox was overflowing with grievances this week, as the challenge asked for couplets detailing other people’s irritating habits.

Nozz Fletcher of Waikawa writes:

There’s a habit my wife needs to sort:/She’s perpetually voicing my thought.

Barbara Harwood, Auckland:

Your snorting may have once seemed cute./Its enduring charm is in dispute.

Yvonne Moosberger, Hamilton:

For my groceries I expect to pay, but not to be questioned about my day./So I go prepared to string a tale of my partner’s life in a Waikato jail.

Rex McGregor, Auckland: They thwart my supermarket dash:/ Those customers who still use cash.

John Mills, Gebbies Valley: Each of his foibles was dear to her heart,/Except, perhaps, his signature fart.

Helen Morris, Auckland: Cinema-goers who chat when the screen/Is about to reveal a climactic scene.

Errol Underdown, Nelson: He drives so close, I’ve declined the ride;/It’s his onesecond rule I can’t abide.

Larry, Puhoi: A nose so long that none could match it./Nothing left, then, but to scratch it.

Auckland’s Frances Caracciolo: “Carpet!” she shrieks, he yells “Buy tyres from me!”/Abominable noise, please mute the TV.

But the Bay of Plenty’s David Wort wins with: “– to be honest,” they add, which just implies/ That when they don’t, they’re telling lies.

For the next contest, send us a brief poem that ends with these words from The Masks of Love, by Alden Nowlan:

Or they’ll think I’m crazy. Rhyming is not compulsory. Entries, for the prize below, close at noon on Thursday, March 8.

Submissions: wordsworth@listener.co.nz or Wordsworth, NZ Listener, Private Bag 92512, Wellesley St, Auckland 1141. Please include your address.