Quips& Quotes

“Trying to get through Ōtaki on a public holiday is right up there with Frodo trying to get to Mordor.” – Fairfax reporter Jo Moir

“God put me on this Earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind that I will never die.” – Calvin and Hobbes cartoonist Bill Watterson

“If you doubt your power, you give power to your doubts.” – fashion designer Diane von Furstenberg

“The busiest person at the White House is whoever has to update the office contact list.” – the Late Show’s Stephen Colbert

“I haven’t seen this many Australians crying on TV since Scott and Charlene got married.” – Jane Merrick in the Independent

“Kotahi te hoe, ka ū te waka ki uta – paddling in unison, the waka will reach land.” – Māori proverb

“Sometimes the smallest things take up the most room in your heart.”

– AA Milne

“Our central heating is called put some more clothes on.” – Jemaine Clement

“I’m all for this gay marriage. They’re entitled to be as miserable as the rest of us.” – British MP Conor McGinn repeats the words of a Northern Irish farmer

“It just came out that Pope Francis once said that there’s no such thing as hell. And then he got stuck in Boarding Group C on Spirit Airlines.” – US comedian Jimmy Fallon