New Zealand Listener - - CON­TENTS - Gabe Atkinson

Read­ers were in­vited to sub­mit a para­pros­dokian, a fig­ure of speech that in­cludes an un­ex­pected de­vel­op­ment at the end. It should be noted that not all con­tri­bu­tions are orig­i­nals.

JR Jones of Wanaka writes: Many are called, but few are sucked in by tele­mar­ket­ing scammers. Rob See­ley, Dunedin: Ev­ery­thing is on the ta­ble: the river has just breached the levee.

Rex McGre­gor (ve­gan) of Auck­land: Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach him to be a ve­gan and every­one will be fed up with him for his whole life­time. Bar­bara Har­wood, Auck­land: It takes a vil­lage to raise a rab­ble.

John Edgar, Christchurch: Love is blind, but mar­riage re­stores its sight. Frances Carac­ci­olo, Auck­land: “No man is an is­land,” he said, for­get­ting the Isle of Man.

An­drea Le­varre-Wa­ters, Auck­land: To make a long story short, edit it ruth­lessly. And: Add in­sult to in­jury by writ­ing un­pleas­ant com­ments on a per­son’s cast. Maureen Skin­ner, Man­gawhai: My dog and I of­ten en­joy go­ing for a tramp in the for­est, but the tramp’s get­ting a bit fed up.

A pair of en­tries from Anne Martin of He­lensville takes the prize: A house di­vided can pro­vide a lu­cra­tive in­come from mul­ti­ple ten­ants. And: The wages of sin de­pend on the price set by the madam.

For the next con­test, choose any monarch from the past or present and send in an imag­ined en­try, in 50 words or fewer, from their pri­vate di­ary. You may sub­mit in prose or verse. En­tries, for the prize be­low, close at noon on Thurs­day, April 19.

Sub­mis­sions: wordsworth@lis­tener.co.nz or Wordsworth, NZ Lis­tener, Pri­vate Bag 92512, Welles­ley St, Auck­land 1141. Please in­clude your ad­dress.

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