Wordsworth

The challenge this week called for a new take on the Cat Stevens song Where Do the Children Play?, beginning with the original opening words: Well, I think it’s fine.

Paul Kelly of Palmerston North writes: Well, I think it’s fine to rough up the ball./Playing cricket’s just a game, after all./Grab sandpaper from inside your pants./Lie if you want, but cry when you’re caught/’Cause you can’t win any more.

Heather Jan, Whangarei: Well, I think it’s fine, they are high up in a tree./ No harness and no helmet./But that’s okay with me./ They are testing out their limits,/ They’re courageous and free./If gravity overtakes them,/OSH will deal to me.

But the winner is Cecily Fisher of Christchurch with an (abridged) ode to the Invercargill Tepid Baths:

Well, I think it’s fine to learn to swim./It can save your life,/it can keep you trim./ Or it can be runny noses/and blue-tinged thighs/and a rather sordid reason why the water always stings your eyes./

The name says it all:/they were never warm/Way back in the fifties in the chilly Southland dawn./I have chlorine dreams/where I choke and gargle,/ swallowing water in that white-tiled hell in Invercargill.

Oh, I’ve come a long way,/slowly learned to swim and play,/Fled down many, many paths/from the/Invercargill Tepid Baths.

For the next contest, send in a terrible idea for a new reality TV show. Your description may be up to 50 words long and should include a title. Entries, for the prize below, close at noon on Thursday, April 26. Submissions: wordsworth@listener.co.nz or Wordsworth, NZ Listener, Private Bag 92512, Wellesley St, Auckland 1141. Please include your address.