Quips& Quotes

“At 18 our convictions are hills from which we look; at 45 they are caves in which we hide.” – F Scott Fitzgerald, quoted in Forbes

“Most of what matters in our lives takes place in our absence.” – Salman Rushdie, quoted in the Week

“A sinkhole has opened up on the White House lawn. True story. Apparently one of Melania’s tunnels collapsed.” – US talk-show host Conan O’Brien

“The best number for a dinner party is two – myself and a damn good head waiter.” – Nubar Gulbenkian, oil magnate and frequenter of the Ritz, quoted in the Times

“In Roseanne’s defence, it’s hard to know the difference between racism that gets you fired versus racism that gets you elected President of the United States.” – seen on Twitter account Brian Sproul

“In the beginning the universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.” – author Douglas Adams

“Fine, Donald Trump gets to pardon himself, but only if he can spell ‘special counsel’ on the first try.”

– Stephen Colbert

“Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can’t sleep with the window shut and a woman who can’t sleep with the window open.” – George Bernard Shaw

“Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function.”

– Garrison Keillor