Quips& Quotes

“Racism, conspiracy theories, personal attacks – they were described as abhorrent, bordering on presidential.” – US comic Bill Maher

“The universe is a pretty big place. If it’s just us, seems like an awful waste of space.” – Carl Sagan

“The degree of civilisation in a society is judged by entering its prisons.” – Fyodor Dostoevsky, quoted in the Week

“I couldn’t stand the lack of independence – I never wanted to be a mousewife.” – quip on the BBC

“I was in a Steps tribute band. It was called Ramps.”

– Britain’s Got Talent winner Lee Ridley, who has cerebral palsy

“Some women hit the maternal wall long before the glass ceiling.” – University of California law professor Joan Williams

“President Trump said Russia should not be punished for seizing parts of Ukraine because they speak Russian there. Which explains why today, Mexico announced plans to take back California.” – US talkshow host Conan O’Brien

“When asked how he will know if Kim Jong-un is serious about the peace treaty, President Trump said he will use his, quote, ‘touch’ and ‘feel’. This may not be a great plan – the last time Trump used his touch-andfeel method, he had to pay Stormy Daniels $130,000.”

– UK comedian James Corden

“Microsoft is working on technology that removes the need for cashiers and checkout lines. It is known as shoplifting.” – O’Brien