Wordsworth

Gabe Atkinson

The challenge to write a four-line poem that includes the phrase “how’s your father” brought forth a fine crop of suggestive entries.

Torbay’s Jo Bowler writes: Oh come, my dear, let’s go and dine/On caviar and finest wine/Bluff oysters, crêpes, or would you rather/Have a little “how’s your father”?

Andrea Levarre-Waters of Auckland: How’s your father, mother, sister?/Here I am: a caring listener./Cousin, Auntie, Grandad well?/I have a fine assortment of coffins to sell.

Rex McGregor, Auckland: How’s your father, Tiffany?/Ivanka? Donald Junior?/ Has he had an epiphany?/Or is he even loonier?

Nozz Fletcher, Waikawa: How’s your father? Lost the plot./How’s your mother? Not too hot./How’s your sister? Gone to pot./Are you worried? Not a jot.

PJ Tinsley, Pongaroa: When offered the old “how’s your father”/It seems that mostly we’d rather/Read until late/Sipping hot chocolate/ Than indulge in a sexual lather.

Karori’s Poppy Sinclair: “How’s your father?” I asked of Icarus,/“An overbearing old fool,” said the son./“Risk-averse with no sense of adventure./I will ignore him, wing it, have fun.”

But Max Reid, of Dunedin, is this week’s winner with: “How’s your father?” – an odd wee phrase,/one that’s perhaps seen better days./Its etymology long since gone,/Gen Y sow oats to another song.

The next contest is based on an idea by Colin Kemplen: send us ideas for absurd new smartphone apps. For example: Finickr: monitors your phone conversations and interrupts in a robotic voice to correct errors of pronunciation. Entries, for the prize below, close at noon on Thursday, October 11.

Submissions: wordsworth@listener.co.nz or Wordsworth, NZ Listener, Private Bag 92512, Wellesley St, Auckland 1141. Please include your address. Entries may be edited for sense or space reasons.