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As an airline flies too close to the sun, a flightless bird wins support.
Joanne Black
When I was a young journalist, which was before cellphones and when “lite” was a spelling mistake, an editor advised me never to say in a column which way I had voted. I was reminded of the wisdom of that advice when my friend and colleague Karl du Fresne recently apologised in a column for voting for New Zealand First at the last election. It is hard to know whether the greater error was voting that way or confessing to it.
I have just voted, too, and, breaking the habit of a lifetime, I am declaring that I cast my ballot for weka in Forest & Bird’s Bird of the Year poll. Weka seem unpopular, so backing them is almost as perverse as voting for NZ First, except that, on the whole, I think weka are brighter. On the other hand, at least NZ First has never tried to steal my car keys.
Somehow, it was kea that won the poll last year – probably because most voters live in cities so have not had their car aerial torn off by one of the parrots. Again, being fair, the last time I lost my car aerial, it was due to a particularly vigorous delivery of the Dominion Post back when the newspaper literally carried weight. Even so, I feel confident that on my last trip to Arthur’s Pass, a kea would have removed the aerial if the Dominion Post had not already done the job.
The kuaka (bar-tailed godwit) won the 2015 poll, which was probably a sympathy vote because they fly to New Zealand each year from Alaska. That is exhausting enough for humans and we do it in a plane. The 2014 winner was the fairy tern, which has to have been an inside job, because who has even heard of them? Last year’s winner was the kōkako. I am not expecting weka to triumph in 2018, but as long as it is not tūī – nasty bastards, tūī – I hope the poll achieves its aim of raising awareness about the plight of so many of New Zealand’s native birds. Visit birdoftheyear.org.nz, but be quick. Otherwise, next year. Go on, you know you want to. But not for tūī.
At Ronald Reagan Airport here in DC last week, I saw a JetBlue Airways plane with the back half, including the tail, painted in words. Not just any words: all in a palette of greens and blues, and all in capital letters like a tweet from US President Donald Trump, the top word on the tail said CARING, under that SAFETY, then, in descending order, INTEGRITY, PASSION and INSPIRING HUMANITY. CARING/ FUN filled out the bottom line. The same words were on the fuselage but in even larger type.
Not much about inspiring humanity makes me want to throw up but this plane’s livery did. JetBlue is a US airline that will take you to Jacksonville, Florida, for your aunt’s funeral if you pay the fare, or to Los Angeles if you are daft enough to fly to the famously awful LAX airport. The company says the “Bluemanity” (yes, seriously) plane is a tribute to all its staff, “who take our mission to inspire humanity and make it real every day”. I guess some of them fly planes, too.
I do not admire corporates that anoint themselves guardians of ethics, morals and aspirations, such as Nike with its recent ads featuring footballer-turned-activist Colin Kaepernick. Companies exist to make money, but more and more of them pretend they have some other primary purpose. They do not, as is demonstrated when they go broke and disappear.
As long as it is not the tūī – nasty bastards, tūī – then I hope the poll achieves its aim.