Television
The Best of the Week
SATURDAY DECEMBER 15
Christmas in the Park 2018 (Three, 7.00pm). If you sat in the Auckland Domain for hours and then spent hours getting home, good on you, and here are the highlights you were probably too far away to see at the time. Mike Puru and Jess Quinn host the 25th edition of Christmas in the Park and performers include Stan Walker, Lavina Williams and Vince Harder, as well as 10 dance groups, a gospel choir and a 20-piece band. bFM breakfast host Mikey Havoc will be donning a Santa suit to sing with the cast and, as the event is sponsored by a well-known soft drink, we’re guessing his costume will be thoroughly traditional.
Great British Railway Journeys (Living, Sky 017, 8.30pm). Michael Portillo and his alarming jackets return for a ninth season and, good news, he’s made it to the 20th century. He is now working from a Bradshaw’s Guide that was published shortly after the death of Queen Victoria and the coronation of the new king, Edward VII, in 1901. Britain at this time was “vibrant and optimistic”, says Portillo, “at the height of its power and influence in the world”, and in the first episode, he “embraces” Edward and the Edwardians, starting at Cromer in Norfolk, one of the King’s favourite counties, and ending in Cambridge. Great British Railway Journeys is followed at 9.30pm by new episodes of Great Continental Railway Journeys, in which Portillo takes four spectacular trips through India, starting with Amritsar to Shimla. At least in India, his jackets, which could also be described as vibrant and optimistic, look right at home.
SUNDAY DECEMBER 16
The Great Christmas Bake
Off (Prime, 6.00pm). It was the end of an era, in Britain anyway: the last time that Mary Berry, Sue Perkins and Mel Giedroyc appeared on Bake Off, having refused to go with Paul Hollywood when the show moved to Channel 4. In this two-part special, bakers from previous series return to compete. There is much terrible punning, of course, from Mel and Sue, and Paul’s Christmas jersey may be some sort of punishment for not standing firm with the other presenters.
Astronauts: Do You Have What It Takes? (BBC Earth, Sky 074, 7.30pm). To which we answer: definitely not. However, evidently 12 high-achievers think they might and are put through a set of gruelling tests by Canadian astronaut Chris Hadfield, space guitarist and former commander of the International Space Station. Challenges in the six-part series include escaping an underwater capsule, operating a Mars Rover, docking a space capsule, enduring a human centrifuge, psychological interviews and a weightlessness test. SEAL Team (Prime, 8.30pm).
The series that won the battle of the jingoistic military TV shows that emerged in the Trump era. Adios The Brave and Valor, welcome back
SEAL Team’s elite special ops, led by David Boreanaz ( Bones), who regularly go out and take down the bad guys. SEAL Team seems to have got the right balance between mission-of-the-week and the personal lives of the soldiers, who struggle with the psychological cost of covert warfare and the ordinariness of life back home. It may also help that it has a cinéma vérité style, possibly thanks to executive producer and director Christopher Chulack, who honed his craft on ER and Southland. Prime is screening a double-episode premiere of season two in which the team first rescue American hostages on an oil platform in the Gulf of Guinea and then face Shiite extremists in Saudi Arabia.
Old People’s Home for 4 Year Olds (Vibe, Sky 006, 8.30pm). Heart-warming social experiment of the week: 10 tiny humans are set free in a retirement home in Bristol. The residents’ initial reluctance – “I can’t quite see what great difference it’s going to make,” says one – soon gives way in the face of small children who don’t understand their limitations. Walking sticks are cast aside and experiences, such as watching ducklings hatch, are seen through new eyes. Quite charming.
MONDAY DECEMBER 17
Elseworlds: The Flash (Sky 5,
Sky 005, 6.00pm Mon-Wed). Apparently, the DC Crossover Event that is “eagerly awaited” by nerds everywhere. That may be because it will be
Ruby Rose’s first appearance
as Batwoman and there is an alternative timeline storyline (always fun) in which the Flash (Grant Gustin) and Green Arrow (Stephen Amell) swap lives. Also appearing in the three-episode event are Bitsie Tulloch as Lois Lane; Amell’s wife, Cassandra Jean Amell, as Nora Fries, aka Mrs Freeze; and Tyler Hoechlin as Superman. The Flash episode is tonight, Arrow is on Tuesday and Supergirl is on Wednesday.
Shortland Street (TVNZ 2, 7.00pm). It’s going to be difficult to top the great volcanic eruption of 2017 for Shortie’s 25th anniversary, but producer Maxine Fleming is promising “mayhem and death” for this year’s cliff-hanger. “Why break with tradition?” she says. “There are three major stories going on at the same time and at least one will end up having an effect on the entire hospital community.”
Project Runway New Zealand (TVNZ 2, 8.00pm). The series ends without any of the judges being as mean as the Fashion Police’s Joan Rivers who once declared Princess Beatrice’s royal wedding hat looked like a giant IUD. The three
remaining designers finish their five-piece collections and the judges, including New Zealand designer Sean Kelly, who won season 13 of Project Runway in the US, will decide. That other local TV facsimile, The Great Kiwi Bake Off, also ends this week (TVNZ 2, Tuesday, 7.00pm). The challenges are sausage rolls, Chelsea buns and a show-stopper cake. As far as prizes go, it seems that baking is its own reward, but fashionistas don’t get out of bed for anything less than a car, $50,000 and a photo shoot in Fashion Quarterly.
The Undateables at Christmas (TVNZ 2, 9.10pm). Heart-warmer of the week, No 2. “Undateables” from the series are captured at Christmas, including singer-songwriter Daniel Wakeford, who is autistic and has an interesting way with words. During the episode, Daniel launches a Christmas single, Everybody Needs Before Christmas, and meets Lily, with whom he has instant rapport. In fact, they’re kissing on the first date: “Yes, snog is beautiful,” he says.
FRIDAY DECEMBER 21
Scorpion (Prime, 7.30pm). Nerds save the world, although only for one more season. In fact, in the first episode of season four, they totally save the whole world from accelerated global warming when an earthquake in Norway causes methane to leak through cracks in the ice. Here’s an idea – show it to Donald Trump and tell him it’s real.