Wordsworth Gabe Atkinson

An airing of grievances will occur this week as the challenge called for rhyming couplets describing life’s little irritations.

Ellie Henderson of Motueka writes: The foil on yogurt’s aptly named/Each time I’m foiled, sprayed and shamed. Paul Kelly, Palmerston North: How I hate my phone’s auto-correction/For the umpteenth time, the word’s “election”.

Rowena Wheaton, Auckland: The plural of ewe, as we know, is ewes/But the plural of you is you, not youse! Rose Isdale, Christchurch: Oh, how I wish that car would pass/Instead of riding up my arse.

Keith Davidson, Blenheim: A voice from abroad said my computer was sick/“Which one?” said I; the phone just went click. Eileen van Trigt, Greytown: When bright young things call me Dear/I feel the urge to tweak an ear.

Judy Lewis, Havelock North: The strawberries are ripe, the raspberries too,/ The netting’s in place, but the birds still get through. Rex McGregor, Auckland: They should apologise profusely/There’s added sugar in this muesli.

Julie Burns, Waikanae: “I’ve had a bereavement, lost eight kids out of nine.”/”Oh, you poor darling, let me tell you about mine.” Michael Ferns, Invercargill: “All lines busy, sad to say./“But your call is important – try another day.”

David Washer, Auckland: A sticker clings to every fruit, the vegetables as well./They go into my compost heap but wouldn’t rot in hell. But Rosemary Mercer of Wellington is the winner: “In your day, what did people do?”/“Is not this day also my day too?”

For the next contest, send us a brief, amusing poem describing a household pet (or any animal friend) of the past or present. Rhyming is not compulsory. Entries, for the prize below, close at noon on Thursday, January 10. Submissions: wordsworth@listener.co.nz or Wordsworth, NZ Listener, Private Bag 92512, Wellesley St, Auckland 1141. Please include your address. Entries may be edited for sense or space reasons.