Quips& Quotes

“If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.” – JRR Tolkien

“The opposition occupies the benches in front of you, but the enemy sits behind you.” – Winston Churchill

“Giving Winston politician of the year ‘cos he didn’t blow up the country while he looked after it for six weeks is like the husband getting a medal for doing the vacuuming once without being asked.”

– writer James Dann

“I hate Russian dolls; they’re so full of themselves.” – UK writer Sathnam Sanghera’s pick of jokes, quoted in the Times

“In the US, everyone is considered innocent until appointed to a public position by the President.” – former US ambassador to the UK William Crowe

“A lightning expert said the chance of it hitting so many cows was rare to medium rare.” – comedian Dai Henwood

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” – Socrates

“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.” – Aesop

“I do not want to see

Trump go to prison. Mostly because if you put Trump in a[n orange] prison jumpsuit, it’ll just look like he’s naked. And why should we be punished for his crimes?”

– The Daily Show’s Trevor Noah

“The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second-best time is now.” – Chinese proverb