Television
The Best of the Week
SATURDAY DECEMBER 14
Fish of the Day (Three, 5.30pm). Having survived a hostage situation with a taniwha in that episode of Wellington Paranormal, First Bloke Clarke Gayford is back on the marine beat with a new series that takes him and the crew around the Pacific Rim. There are visits to marvel at and learn about stunning coastal locations in the likes of Malaysia, Niue and Hawaii – and, of course, to enjoy the delicious fishy creations of the best local chefs.
The Great Gardening Challenge (Vibe, Sky 006, 6.30pm). The elements are familiar enough – it’s a makeover show with an elimination structure and an end-of-season winner – but this Channel 5 gardening show has had a good reception in Britain. That’s partly because it packs plenty of feel-good factor. The gardens that teams of professional designers competitively transform are all associated with worthy causes, from a war veterans’ rehabilitation charity to a daycare centre and a neglected community park. But it’s also because presenter Nicki Chapman, a long-time BBC face, came to the show after perilous surgery to remove a golf ballsized brain tumour.
SUNDAY DECEMBER 15
David Attenborough’s Tasmania (TVNZ 1, 7.30pm). A one-off documentary in which the great naturalist explores, in his words, “the weird and wonderful isle at the bottom of the world”. Although Tasmania is politically part of Australia, it is geographically and environmentally a place apart. Its forests are ancient, its rivers pristine and its coastline rugged and spectacular. Some of the animals are pretty freaky, too.
MONDAY DECEMBER 16
Grand Designs: The Street (Three, 8.30pm). It’s the last reveal in a season of stories set during five years of Britain’s biggest self-build project. In the finale, Pauline and Godfrey plan to downsize to a modular factory-built house – but, before it is craned into place, the money runs out. What now?
TUESDAY DECEMBER 17
The Royal Edinburgh Military Tattoo 2018 (Prime, 7.30pm). Yes, it’s last year’s tattoo, rather than this year’s 70th
anniversary show, but last year was a good one. The RAF turned up to mark its 100th anniversary with a “Sky’s the Limit” theme. There’s also a performance from Switzerland’s Top Secret Drum Corps and the festivities acknowledge Scotland’s Year of Young People. (In case you’ve ever wondered, “tattoo” in this instance has nothing to do with body art, but derives from the 17th-century Dutch phrase doe den tap toe – “turn off the tap” – traditionally a musical signal to tavern owners each night to turn off the taps of their ale kegs so that soldiers would go back to their lodgings and get some damned sleep.)
WEDNESDAY DECEMBER 18
Revved Up Down Under (Discovery Turbo, Sky 075, 6.30pm). Launch night for a week-long series of specials compiling the Australian stories from shows on Sky’s motorhead channel
Discovery Turbo, including
Fast ’n’ Loud, American Chopper and Wheeler Dealers. It’s all a lead-in to the Christmas Eve premiere of Street Outlaws: Burning Rubber Down Under. Shop Well for Less: Christmas Special (TVNZ 1, 7.30pm). Alex Jones and Steph McGovern return to host a special themed on the time of year when we all tend to blow the budget. In this episode, we meet foster parents Paul and Michael, who care for boys with severe autism and epilepsy. They’re
wonderful people and they don’t mind spending a bit to make the season special for their kids. The host grinches suggest that 10 Christmas trees really might be overdoing it. The programme is followed by a Christmas edition of life-swap show Rich House Poor House.
Have You Been Paying Attention to 2019? (TVNZ 2, 7.30pm). It’s not exactly ours (like The Project, it comes from the Rove Enterprises format farm in Australia), but the local crew have made Have You Been Paying Attention? their own in its first year here. For the season-end show, the whole year’s news is fair game for Hayley, Urzila and Vaughan – and there’ll also be a festive assortment of special quizmasters.
THURSDAY DECEMBER 19
Moving Out With Kanoa (Three, 7.30pm). Relocating in search of a better life is one of the most profound, difficult and hopeful things a family can do – so it’s surprising that it’s taken until 2019 to capture the stories for television. In this final episode of Moving Out With Kanoa for the year, Kanoa Lloyd meets single father Dallas Butler, who is moving to the coast with his teenage son in search of better work and a quieter life, and the Hu
family, who are leaving South Auckland with plans to open a small-town motel.
Wellington Paranormal: Christmas Special (TVNZ 2, 8.30pm). In the grand tradition of such beloved shows as Doctor Who and Outrageous Fortune, the Paranormal crew get a Christmas special. It’s kicking off everywhere this season for O’Leary and Minogue: there’s meat missing from the Christmas barbie, something very strange is happening with the photocopier at the office Christmas party, and presents are unwrapping themselves. Also, there’s an unfortunate mix-up between Santa and Satan – but we’ve all been there.
FRIDAY DECEMBER 20
Motorway Patrol: 20th Birthday Special (TVNZ 2, 7.00pm). Is it really two whole decades that we’ve been deriving guilty pleasure from the motorway misadventures of our compatriots? Apparently so. This is a clip show of the best and worst scrapes over the years. To be fair, the producers also promise some proper history around the likes of breath-testing tech and driver licences. But if the lady who broke down on the Auckland Harbour Bridge with a boot-load of sex toys isn’t in it, we’re filing a Broadcasting Standards complaint.
Jones! Christmas Pop-Up (Sky 207). Sky’s retro entertainment channel goes full Brit for seven days until Boxing Day. The theme is basically all the British comedy Christmas specials ever: Dad’s Army, Some Mothers Do ’Ave ’Em, Father Ted and more. There are also previously unseen-in-New-Zealand specials from Steptoe and Son, Are You Being Served, Last of the Summer Wine and more.