What’s it like living with anxiety?

Sometimes the best way to find out about mental health problems is to hear from those living with them. Here are the thoughts of an anonymous media worker suffering from anxiety.

What does anxiety feel like?

Anxiety is a different beast for everyone. Some people become anxious after being triggered by specific stimuli; for others (like me) the culprit can strike at any given moment, even when in a relaxing situation— though it’s more likely to hit when stressed or under pressure. Anxiety often comes hand-in-hand with other mental illnesses, such as depression.

Anxiety is essentially our ‘flight or fight response’, designed to protect us when we are faced with a threat. So, my body responds the way it would when I feel fear. I normally experience a racing heart and heightened senses. Sounds that you’d normally think of as ‘white noise’ suddenly become louder, colours or reflections of light appear uncomfortably bright. I get tingling sensations and I often get a metallic taste in my mouth. I normally don’t hyperventilate or panic, I just feel incredibly uneasy and out of touch with my surroundings.

Others experience heart palpitations, sweaty palms, dizziness, hot flashes, cold chills, numbness and tingling, derealisation (the feeling that objects are unreal), chest pain or nausea, to name but a few.

What does it do to your productivity/creative levels when it happens?

I find it very difficult to focus and find enjoyment in my work. If I’m sitting in front of a computer screen, it often appears too bright and words in a document start to seem more like abstract shapes rather than anything I can engage with and process. It takes an immense amount of mental energy to keep working, and that definitely affects my productivity and creativity. It’s very draining. There should also be an awareness that life outside of work affects the well-being of workers.

How do you overcome an episode?

I find deep breathing from my diaphragm helps a lot, in the nose and out the mouth. It gets more oxygen to the brain, calming me down and lowering my heart rate. Stepping outside for fresh air and a walk also helps. To keep it at bay, I practice mindfulness meditation as a regular, ongoing treatment.

What actions can a boss take to help you overcome a period when you might be struggling with anxiety?

Bosses should treat it as an illness, as that’s what it is. If it’s flaring up, workers who should be allowed to take some time off, even if it’s just the rest of the day. If the episode is mild and the staff member thinks they can still work, then bosses should minimise the number of tasks given to them. Everyone’s needs to overcome an anxious episode/period will be different, so one of the most important things a boss can do is simply listen.

A recent email from a Michigan CEO to a staff member— who said she was taking a day off for her mental health—went viral when he responded saying her message was a reminder of the importance of using sick days for mental health, so workers can bring their “whole selves” to work. The popularity of the post shows its resonance with the enormous amount of people who suffer from the illness. Someone with anxiety will be more healthy and productive in the long run if they have the time and support to overcome an episode and a sensitive, supportive and non-judgmental boss.

Do you think there’s a stigma regarding anxiety? Have you ever been concerned about admitting the problem to a boss because of the way they might perceive you?

Definitely. I hope as time goes on, sufferers feel able to be transparent about their anxiety, I think the more it’s talked about, the less stigma there will be. But of course, it’s easier said than done. People often judge or dismiss what they don’t understand. When anxiety hits, it becomes the filter through which you see the world and if someone hasn’t seen through that filter, it becomes more difficult to empathise with the sufferer.

Anxiety can’t necessarily be ‘seen’. When you have a cold, you might sneeze, cough or develop a raspy voice. People with anxiety might feel mentally drained and awful but might not wear the symptoms on their bodies. You can’t always walk a mile in someone else’s shoes, but if that person says they have a blister (and considering some of the more harrowing statistics around mental illness), you should take their word for it.

What are some of the biggest misconceptions people have when it comes to anxiety?

We frequently use the word ‘anxious’ in everyday language. For example: “I’m feeling anxious about my job interview tomorrow.” We all feel anxious, and it’s a good thing. Studies have shown that a certain amount of anxiety actually increases our performance – whether that be in sports or academia. It’s when the anxiety becomes excessive and starts spilling into everyday life that it becomes a problem. But because of our benign use of the word, it’s often not regarded with the seriousness that it should be. In an ideal world, anxiety would have a different label so sufferers could discuss it more easily and make it clearer when they’re having an episode without the (usually unintended) brush off.