TWINS, TEARS & TESTING TIMES Jenny-May & Stacey’s whanau affair
IT’S BEEN A LABOUR OF LOVE FOR THE FRIENDS, WHO ARE GEARING UP TO RETURN TO THE SMALL SCREEN
When Stacey Morrison first asked her friend Jenny-May Clarkson to contribute to her TV show Whanau Living, she thought Jenny-May could look after a segment on animals and pets.
It’s perhaps not what you’d expect the former Silver Fern to be an expert in, Stacey concedes. But animals aren’t her thing, so she thought she’d rope in her best mate to fill the show’s missing piece.
But soon after Jenny-May joined, things – as Stacey puts it – “got really interesting”. Really, really interesting.
At 40, Jenny-May met the love of her life, Dean, who just days later popped the big question. They wed after seven months and then came the arrival of their twin boys, Atawhai and Te Manahau. Within 14 months, Jenny-May had gone from being a single woman, living alone, to a married mother with two sons, joined by Dean’s two teen daughters every second week.
Suffice to say, there was suddenly a lot more to talk about than just pets.
“That was really well planned – what a great plot twist!” laughs Stacey (43), ribbing her friend.
While others may have agonised over how much of their private story they should share, it wasn’t something Jenny May gave a second thought to. Because if there’s one thing you can count on the TVNZ 1 sports presenter to be, it’s honest.
“Yeah, no-one ever asked if I wanted to share that story,” says Jenny-May. “I went to our executive producer and said,
‘I’d like for Whanau Living to follow my journey.’ I wanted to be real about it, because I knew there’d be people watching who might be struggling too and could get something out of it.”
So the third series of Whanau Living became a true family affair and followed Jenny-May’s pregnancy – from getting scans as Stacey held her hand (“I didn’t expect how much I was going to cry that episode!” admits Stacey), to her regular visits with Dean (41) to the midwife. The series ended with the baby shower two weeks before the twin boys’ arrival.
“I think we were blown away by the response for Jenny-May this last year and her big life transformation,” says Stacey.
But she was hardly surprised that audiences couldn’t get enough of Jenny-May’s story – told with her laid-back attitude and complete honesty.
“It’s one of the things I love about her,” smiles Stacey. “She’s so honest! And it comes through in our new series too, of course. In the first episode, when we catch up with her and the family, she’s so straight up. She’s like, ‘Look, this is how it is. This is the kind of mother I am. This is what is happening.’ And I’m so proud of you,” she says, turning to her longtime friend, resting a hand on her arm. “You didn’t think, ‘Oh, maybe I need to be more like this or do that,’ you just went, ‘Nope, this is who I am.’ And I love that.”
In the fourth series of Whanau Living, Jenny-May (42) shares her journey as a first-time mother – again in her frank, trademark way. With Dean by her side, she takes the boys for their first swimming lesson and to a baby whisperer for some tips, among many other new journeys.
Dean is right there with her looking after the family, especially now that Jenny-May has returned to work – a busy load that sees her presenting with TVNZ, in an advisory role at High Performance Sport New Zealand and as assistant coach with the Northern Mystics.
“People ask how we do everything we do,” says Stacey. “It’s because we both have the husbands we have!”
Jenny-May agrees, “It’s all because of Dean. When we’re out – there was a case of this just the other day – people started asking me questions about the boys and I said,
‘Don’t ask me, you better ask their father!’ When they were babies and they’d cry, the same thing would happen, people would automatically bring them to me, but it was Dean who’d be able to hold them and stop them crying.”
And while Jenny-May has kept up the occasional segment on pets – visiting a cat café and later learning about whether kune kune pigs make for good pets – it’s the story of the twins that has captured the hearts of the audience. Although things have certainly evolved this year.
“Last year was massive, seeing my mate and everything she went through,” says Stacey. “I cried so much last year – I didn’t see that coming! But this year has been different, I haven’t cried that much. But you have! Ha ha,” ribs Stacey.
“Yip, that’s true,” agrees the normally staunch Jenny-May. “Maybe it’s the hormones, but that probably is a big difference this year – how much I cry this time around! The thing is, I’m experiencing a lot of things
‘I cried so much last year – I didn’t see that coming! But this year has been different’
for the first time – as I’m sure people at home watching are too. I’m not afraid to be vulnerable because I think there are a lot of people who feel the same way. I have no problem with sharing my struggles because there are plenty of people struggling.”
Jenny-May says the show also provides an opportunity to educate herself as a first-time mother. “Having an opportunity to talk to experts about all this stuff, I’m asking the questions I need to know. How I roll is, honestly, I don’t know a heck of a lot – so some of the questions might seem really basic or dumb. But I think, well, actually I don’t know, so surely I’m not alone in my thinking – I might as well ask!”
It’s what Stacey loves about the show – that they never present themselves as experts. They strive to be relatable and real in order to discover tips and tricks that make life a bit easier to navigate.
“It’s about being honest and authentic – we usually only do one take of filming, especially with our kids,” laughs Stacey. “Sometimes it’d be impossible to do more than one anyway. We tell it like it is.”
And she’s especially proud of the vulnerability that her friend shows. Although Jenny-May is the first to admit it’s something she’s had to work on – and sharing those hard times in her life is something she owes entirely to Stacey.
“Okay, I don’t want to cry,” she says, as her eyes well. “But look, I’ve had many dark times and I feel very grateful for Stace. The biggest thing she’s taught me is, being the type of person I am, I don’t want to bother people with my stuff. There’s a lot of us out there like that,
I’m sure. You think, ‘It’s my stuff, everybody’s got their stuff, so just deal with it Jenny-May and get on with it!’ But Stace has taught me that it’s okay to ask for help.
“But not only that, it’s just been the little things she’s done for me, like her saying, ‘When things aren’t going well, just text me, honey.’ It’s not even that I need a response, it’s just been knowing that somebody out there is on my journey.”
Interjects Stacey, “The thing you need to know is Jenny-May is a perfectionist. She’s a Silver Fern for God’s sake. Never forget that she was a Silver Fern! So that’s what she wants from herself – high expectations and high delivery.”
Stacey says it’s the same deal when it comes to Jenny-May learning Te Reo. “She wanted to know everything yesterday!” she teases. But being a part of Whanau Living – a bilingual show – means she’s continued to grow her understanding of the language, with Stacey’s husband Scotty Morrison acting as teacher.
The two families are very much involved in each other’s lives, with Stacey having called Jenny-May whanau for years.
Four years ago, she appointed Jenny-May the godmother of her youngest daughter Maiana as a sort of “back-up clause”. Stacey says she felt Jenny-May’s loneliness and her desire to have a family of her own. “But if it didn’t happen, we knew it would be a way of securing her place in our whanau and that she would have a baby special to her, no matter what.”
But Stacey always had a suspicion that everything was going to work out. “I mostly feel proud and happy for Jenny-May, but I do feel a bit, ‘Ha, ha, I told you so!’” she says, cracking up with laughter.
Stacey puts the laughter aside for a moment to share one of her proudest moments of her friendship with Jenny-May, which came last year when a storm blew up over a rather nasty letter that criticised the sports presenter for staying on screen until the late stages of her pregnancy.
“I really admired her grace and that she had it all in perspective. I loved the way she responded to it.”
It was a situation Jenny-May really didn’t want to dwell on – only addressing it once at the time to give a statement: “As a heavily pregnant woman, I struggle with my own demons about my body changing shape but I choose to stay in front of the camera to encourage others to be proud of the job that we are doing – creating life.
“It is a major privilege to carry and create a human being and in my case two. Just like it is a privilege to enter into your living rooms each weekend. Thank you once again for your show of kindness – nga mihi ki a koutou katoa.”
“What I really loved about that situation, though,” says Stacey,
“was that outpouring from people who felt really protective of her. There were so many people who stood up and said, ‘Oh, no, you didn’t say that about our Jenny-May!’
“I’m really lucky and proud to have her as my friend,” she continues. “I really appreciate that we’ve changed a lot and both been on these journeys, but good friendships can handle that – and get even stronger.”