Circle of FRIENDS
FINDING MATES AND FITTING IN CAN BE A STRUGGLE FOR SOME
Being able to fit in with your peers is an important part of any child’s life. Some kids are naturally sociable; others struggle.
If your child doesn’t have a big circle of friends, don’t worry. Some of us just tend to gravitate towards one or two others and don’t feel the need to surround ourselves with lots of people.
But if they don’t seem to be forming bonds with their peers and they feel anxious about social situations, you may want to investigate.
Children with Aspergers can have difficulty socialising – in fact, it’s often one of the more obvious signs of this disorder. But it’s also possible to have a condition called social communication disorder
(SCD) without having other symptoms of Aspergers.
People with SCD – which was only recognised in 2013 – don’t manage well in social situations. They struggle to interact with other people because they often don’t understand the subtle rules of conversing.
They don’t always grasp the concept of give-and-take, and may monopolise a conversation or butt in frequently. They may also be very hesitant to speak at all.
They can come across as rude and inadvertently offend other people. They may also flounder and behave inappropriately if they get into an argument because they don’t know how to express themselves.
They don’t always know how to start a conversation, to listen to what is being said, phrase a question properly, stay on topic and know when the conversation has moved on to another subject.
Signs of SCD can show up in pre-schoolers but it’s often not spotted until they’re at school.
THE SIGNS INCLUDE:
• Little or no interest in interacting with other children.
• Going off topic or taking over conversations.
• Not adapting language to different situations or people (for example, talking to a teacher the same way they’d talk to a peer).
• Difficulty picking up on things that are implied, rather than directly stated.
• Not understanding how to greet people appropriately.
• Expecting an unfamiliar person to understand a situation, despite the fact that they haven’t been given background information.
• Taking language literally (ie, thinking
“Hop out of the car” means exiting the vehicle while jumping on one leg).
• Trouble picking up on body language and facial expressions.
Social-skills training can help if SCD is diagnosed.
This involves working with a therapist to practise taking turns in conversation, starting and ending topics, and other conversational skills.
This is often done with visual aids such as comic books or via role-playing. Practising how to act in social situations can make a huge difference.
Children with SCD can learn how to converse and interact with others in a way that’s appropriate. This can lead to a boost in their confidence and improve their chances of developing friendships.