Bosom BUDDIES
WHAT TO DO WHEN SOMEONE YOU LOVE HAS CANCER
When a friend or family member is diagnosed with cancer, one of the hardest emotions to deal with can be the feeling of helplessness. It’s only normal to want to be able to fix everything, but you can’t.
However, what you can do is to be there to support them in whatever way you can and whatever way they need.
Studies have found that cancer survivors with strong emotional support tend to adjust better to the changes cancer brings to their lives, have a more positive outlook and have a better quality of life.
Here are some ways you can help your loved one when they’re dealing with the toughest battle of their life...
ASK THEM WHAT THEY WANT FROM YOU
While it is nice to be thoughtful and come up with ideas for things you think they want, you may not be fulfilling their needs. Ask what it is they really need and then get on with it.
ATTEND APPOINTMENTS
Make sure you or somebody else is available to attend their doctors’ appointments with them. Often they are overwhelmed by what they are being told or the medication they are on can affect their ability to concentrate so they miss important information. Prepare a list beforehand of questions to ask the doctor and don’t be shy about taking notes.
BE PREPARED TO STAY SILENT
Some cancer patients are very private about what they are going through and don’t want the whole world to know their business. They won’t post pictures of themselves with a bald head from the chemo drugs on social media – and you shouldn’t either. Check what they are comfortable with you telling people.
A GOOD LISTENER IS WORTH THEIR WEIGHT IN GOLD
Often there’s nothing much you can do other than listening to them as they talk about whatever is on their mind. Remember this is all about them, not you. Let them talk and share their emotions, even the negative ones. If your opinions on subject such as natural therapies differ to theirs, keep them to yourself.
BE PREPARED TO BE FLEXIBLE
Their needs can change from day to day when they are undergoing treatment. Some days they may be keen for you to sit with them and talk, on others they may just want to be left alone to sleep. Be guided by their needs and adapt as they change.
PROVIDE DISTRACTIONS
There are times when patients want to forget that they are dealing with cancer, even if only for a few minutes. Distracting them with an outing to a favourite place or watching a movie together can provide a brief respite. Never underestimate the power of laughter either – if you can do something to make them chuckle, it will help to lift their mood.
DON’T FORGET TO LOOK AFTER YOURSELF
If you are one of the main caregivers for someone with cancer, make sure you have breaks or you’ll end up exhausted and unable to care for them properly.