HOW DEB & I MADE IT!
The secrets to my marriage
When Hugh Jackman first met his future wife Deborra-lee Furness on the set of an Australian TV drama, three things were very apparent.
First, she was the big star. Second, there was a rather large age gap. And third, it was love at first sight.
Today, 23 years later, things have changed a bit. They’re still madly in love and, of course, the 13 years between them will always be there. But Hugh’s massive success in showbiz, as well as having their two kids, Oscar (17) and Ava (12), has changed their lives in ways they couldn’t have imagined. However, both Hugh (49) and Deborralee (62) still know what’s most important.
“Deb is the foundation of our family and therefore my life,” says Hugh.
“Underneath the surface, where it’s real and where it’s still and where it’s deep, that is the love I have with Deb.”
Often described as one of Hollywood’s most enduring relationships, the pair – who have been married for 21 years – fell in love hard and fast after they met in 1995 on the set of crime drama Correlli. After six weeks of shooting, Hugh finally plucked up the courage to ask out the leading lady and he remembers being shocked to discover she too had a crush on him, despite their different ages and circumstances.
“I never in a million years thought she would have reciprocated,” he tells.
Fast-forward 23 years and the couple still freely admit to having crushes on each other – Deborra-lee adding that because Hugh’s appearance changes so often due to acting roles, she feels like she gets to fall in love with a new Hugh every few months.
“I like him all ways: chubby, muscly, skinny... It’s like I’m always having affairs,” she jokes. “I like him best clean-shaven, though.”
Despite their intense love, Hugh and Deborra-lee – who spend most of their time in
New York but take frequent trips back to Australia with their kids – both say marriage takes work. They have made it a rule to never go more than two weeks without seeing each other and they try their very best to spend weekends together.
“A great relationship depends on honesty, and being able to bare yourself and who you really are,” says Hugh.
“Often in relationships, we can get off track, but as you change in life and learn different things, I think as long as you’re letting your partner see the real
you – and you’re seeing the real them – you’re in great shape. For me and Deb, we have this kind of intimacy where nothing is off the table, no embarrassment or shame is hidden, no secret or success.
It’s all shared.”
Now free from Wolverine’s claws after making the last movie in the wildly successful franchise last year, you’d expect Hugh would want a bit of a break. However, the Aussie has been sitting on a passion project for years – the life story of the founder of the modern circus, P.T. Barnum. Hugh was so determined to make the film, he even risked facial disfigurement.
When he and the team of people behind the musical The Greatest Showman were trying to get funding for the film two years ago, they arranged for a short performance for would-be backers and executives from movie studio 20th Century Fox.
Then, the day before the crucial presentation, Hugh was given some bad news. He’d gone to the doctor to have a basal cell carcinoma – a type of skin cancer – removed from his nose and after being carefully stitched up, he was issued with a strict warning.
“I had 80 stitches in my nose and my doctor said, ‘You’re not allowed to sing,’” recalls Hugh, whose specialist was worried he might split the stitches, causing an infection and leaving him with ugly scarring.
As the movie’s leading man, he phoned the director, Michael Gracey, and told him, “I’m in the surgeon’s office and he’s not letting me leave until I call you and say there’s no way
I can sing tomorrow.’”
A stand-in was hastily arranged, but when it came time to do the presentation, Hugh just couldn’t help himself. He stepped in to belt out the power ballad From Now On and was so impressive, the money men instantly gave the project the green light.
“And after, I ran back to get re-stitched,” says Hugh. “Worth it!”
Showman – a $118 million project that took seven years to bring to the big screen – was a risky proposition, but Hugh is glad he and the team persevered to get it made. The actor is especially delighted to be able to tell the story of a self-made man, one who climbed the social ladder by showcasing bearded ladies, sword swallowers and other curiosities in his circus.
“P.T. Barnum really, for me, epitomised the idea that your imagination is your limit in a time when things were very rigid and the social position you were born into was the
‘Our priority is our family and we’re there for each other no matter what ’
one you were stuck in,” he tells.
Although Hugh has become best known in recent years as action hero Wolverine, it was acting in musicals that gave him his first big break when he landed roles straight out of drama school in the Australian productions of Beauty and the Beast and Sunset Boulevard.
He felt like he’d made it to the top when he was cast in the lead role of Curly in the West End production of Oklahoma!.
“I remember thinking, ‘This is as far as my dreams have got me,’” he says. “I was 28, pretty much having reached most of the goals that I’d set for myself. I was always very vague on the Hollywood thing. I felt that if I pinned all my hopes on that, I was destined for disappointment.”
He has, of course, made it big in Tinseltown since, despite initially being told he was too tall to be a movie star. “I’m 6ft 2in [1.87m] and when I began, I was ‘shoes off’ for the first five years, doing a half squat. In Wolverine, everyone was standing on planks around me.”
But he has kept his hand in when it comes to musicals, winning a Tony Award on Broadway for The Boy From Oz and receiving an Oscar nomination for his performance as Jean Valjean in the movie version of Les Misérables.
As much as he loves singing, he’s not a fan of his own voice. “I find it really difficult to listen to myself sing. I’ll be listening to the Broadway Channel sometimes, and they’ll announce me and
I’ll immediately turn it off.”
But Hugh’s changed his tune since working with a voice coach on Showman. “I wanted to do a different style from the way
I’d been singing before,” he explains. “This is a little more pop. I really had to go back to the beginning, but I have never loved singing more. With this, I can actually listen to myself.”
He says he’s now “itching” to return to Broadway and is developing an original musical. “A bad musical stinks to high heaven, but when a musical works, there’s nothing like it,” he says. “People are screaming and cheering. Nothing I’ve found has matched it.
“To this day, when I’m doing stage work, I go down into the wings – even if I’m not on first – to hear the crowd shuffle in. It’s the height of excitement as the orchestra starts to play.”
And there’ll always be at least one person in the audience – Deb. In fact, Hugh reckons it was his rendition of a popular show tune that sealed the deal in the first place.
“She probably first fell in love with me when I sang You and I from the musical Cheers,” he says. “Well, maybe not entirely because of that, but it didn’t hurt my chances. Deb will still ask me to sing it for her at home, although she’s usually a bit tipsy.”
One thing Hugh knows for sure, however, is that the strength of their relationship comes from the fact they met and fell in love before Hollywood came calling.
“One of the great pieces of fortune in my career is that it started late, but that Deb and I were already set together – a team, madly in love, like literally before it all happened.
“We can kind of see all the ups and downs for what they are. Our priority is our family and we’re there for each other no matter what.”
Deborra-lee agrees. “To me, home is the four of us being together,” she says. “The rest is just geography.”