‘WE’RE THERE TO EMPOWER’
It takes a special type of person to look after someone who is dying. And like Lorraine, many people are overwhelmed with gratitude for the care they and their loved ones receive from the hospice staff who choose this type of nursing as a career.
But it’s a two-way street, say the palliative care nurses who looked after Marty at his home in the last months of his life.
“It’s not all about giving – we get a lot out of it too,” says Anne Brown (66). “Being involved with people who are living with a terminal illness, and making a difference to their quality of life, is very rewarding.”
“We get valued a lot by our patients and their families,” says Katie McGregor (33). “But we couldn’t do our jobs without the family members who are caring for their loved ones. We’re there to empower them – they’ve got the most difficult job. They don’t get to walk away. I have so much admiration for people who are caring for loved ones at this time of life.”
“We get to meet some wonderful families, and you can end up becoming very close to them, like we did with Marty and Lorraine,” says Susie Watkin (67). “And while you are there in a professional capacity, there are times when you shed tears with them.”
Katie, who has been a hospice nurse for 10 years, says they get to see there can be dignity
in dying.
“There is a beauty in people coming together and sharing important moments and reflecting on life,” she explains. “They focus on what really matters and seeing that is a gift I am able to take at this age and learn from. I think I’m lucky that my job gives me that.”
The others agree, with Anne adding that being a palliative care nurse for 22 years has helped her grow as a person.
Says Susie, who started working for hospice 36 years ago after seeing a story about it in the Weekly, “I can’t imagine doing anything else. It gives us a different perspective – we do have an acute awareness of death, but I think that makes us appreciate living.”
All three say they learned a lot from the time they spent with Marty and Lorraine.
“From Marty, even though he was so sick, I learned so much about living despite what might be facing you. He had so much strength of character,” says Katie. “And from Lorraine I learned about unconditional love because of the way she was with Marty.”
“She is an amazing person,” agrees Anne. “She was very strong and a wonderful support for him.
“You could just feel the love,” adds Susie.
“They were both such warm, gracious, loving people and very generous,” Katie says. “Marty dying was so sad – it always is when someone dies before their time, when they still have so much life to live and so much to give.
“But the way Lorraine loved him, and the way he loved her, was just beautiful. We feel very humbled and privileged to be able to get to know people like them and be involved in their care.”