Hairy SITUATION

THERE’S NO GREY AREA WHEN IT COMES TO ASSUMPTIONS, AS KERRE FINDS OUT

You know the rule that you should never, ever ask another woman if she’s pregnant unless you can actually see the baby being born? I’ve made that mistake once and I’ve had it happen to me twice, and whether you’re asking the question or responding to it, it’s a mortifying situation to be in.

I have another conversational clunker to add to the list of what you should never ask a friend or acquaintance. And that is, “Oh, have you decided to go grey?”

This happened just the other day. I saw a friend of mine at work I hadn’t seen in ages. Normally a stylish, welldressed brunette, Sarah was now a stylish, well-dressed woman sporting a chic grey hair do. “Oh, I love it!” I exclaimed. “When did you decide to go grey?” She looked at me in horror. “I haven’t!” she cried. “I have just spent a fortune going platinum blonde! Does it look grey to you?!”

Well, obviously it did otherwise I wouldn’t have said anything but let’s face it, there were 50 shades of grey long before that execrable book came out. There’s the white blonde grey, the salt and pepper grey, your bog standard grey – every one of us is different.

A couple of years ago, I told my husband I was off to the hairdresser. “Why are you going there?” he asked. “We haven’t got anything on, do we?”

“No,” I replied, “just routine maintenance. I have to get the greys disguised.”

“What greys?” he exclaimed. “You don’t have grey hair!”

And no. Thanks to the lovely Rob at Servilles, I don’t. But should I find myself on a desert island one day, denied access to the wonderful men and women of the beauty industry,

I’d have to be rescued immediately otherwise I’d be a grey-haired crone within the week.

One of my friends went a whitegrey colour and, despite years of being a glossy brunette, she really suits her new look. She’s had to change her foundation and lipstick to accommodate her new hair colour, but she still looks fabulous. Another friend went grey, but she resumed her monthly salon appointments after a year of authenticity. “I just wasn’t ready,” she explained. “Every time I looked in the mirror, I saw my mother.”

But back to Sarah, who had not made the decision to go grey. She’d simply decided she wanted to revisit her punk youth and sport a spiky, platinum blonde bob for a change. There was nothing I could do or say to make things better.

I saw her at work a few days later, and her hair, although still light, was a completely different shade. “Look what you made me do,” she said pointing to her hair. “I went straight back to the salon that day and made them change it.” I spluttered another apology and offered to pay for the redo, but she laughed and told me she was enjoying seeing my mortification and that was enough for her.

When, or even if, we choose to go grey, is completely up to us. For some women, it comes sooner rather than later. For some women, the inimitable Peta Mathias for example, that day will never come. But it’s a completely personal decision and it should be left to you to make the announcement that you’ve gone grey. Not for clutzes like me to make assumptions.

I promise never to do it again.