READER LETTER OF THE WEEK

Dear Jude,

My parents are in their late 70s and lately it has become obvious they need more care. I think they need to move into a retirement village or get more home support, as my dad’s health has deteriorated quickly.

He has Parkinson’s, and my mum is struggling to take care of him, their large home and my sister, who lives with them as she has Lyme disease and very much needs their assistance. (She’s in her late 40s.)

I’m at a loss as to what to do. My parents are worried about what will become of my sister if they move on, as she requires full-time care and likely couldn’t get by on a sickness benefit.

They’re struggling on, but we all know this can’t continue. Do you have any ideas of what I can do?

First thing here is to connect with their GP and talk about what you’re seeing. He or she can organise a needs assessment to figure out what help they need to live their daily lives as independently as possible.

The situation with your sister must be weighing on their minds and it’d be good to have a family chat about the options – particularly now that your dad has his own health concerns. If they stay at home, there will, I’m quite sure, be some funded help they can access to make life a little easier.

However, that doesn’t address the issue of the large home that might be too big for just the three of them. If downsizing to a retirement village is on the cards, go and see some with them and be up front about the fact they have a daughter who needs to live with them.

It’s a somewhat unusual situation and I have asked some retirement village contacts about it. The answer was that they look at things on a case-by-case basis, so it’s worth you checking if they can move in as a trio.

Could other family members and close friends assist? That might be in the form of practical help to keep on top of the house, emotional support, respite care for your sister, etcetera.

It sounds like your parents need some extra love and support wrapped around them.