Moving on
EVELYN stood by the bedroom window and sighed.
It was a beautiful day outside. The weeping cherry tree on the front lawn was covered in pink blossoms and the gentle breeze made it sway gently, as if dancing to a secret tune.
David had loved that cherry tree. She remembered when they had gone to the garden centre looking for a specimen tree for their front lawn. Once David had seen the weeping cherry, nothing else would do.
She smiled as she recalled how dif cult it was to bring it home. They’d had to hire a trailer and lay the tree down – it was too tall to stand up. She remembered frantically holding onto the trunk and manoeuvring it, rst this way and then that, as David issued instructions and positioned the tree in the ground, covering the roots.
The tree was 20 years old now and David was gone.
After 50 years of sharing her life with him, she was alone and left with only her memories.
At rst, everyone had been very kind and supportive.
The chapel was full at the funeral service. Evelyn vaguely remembered seeing people she had not seen for many years. When she felt strong enough, she must go through the remembrance book and read the signatures of those who were there. But… not just yet.
Five years isn’t a long time. Not when you had shared your life with someone for more than 50 years. You couldn’t just turn off a switch and turn on another and begin a new life. Surely it had to happen gradually...
Her few friends had been supportive. When you are old – no, older – your circle of friends becomes smaller. Only the friends you’ve known for years remain. And they phoned her, often at rst. She went out for coffee with them, but was determined not to rely on them, not to phone them too often or become a nuisance. She wanted them to enjoy her company, not sigh when they heard her voice on the telephone, again!
She had always had a tendency to overthink things. She knew she was doing it now, worrying about irritating her friends. David had always told her, “Don’t be such a worrywort! Just relax and let life happen.” But now it seemed as if life was passing her by. Evelyn was lonely.
She wandered into the kitchen and put the kettle on for a cup of tea. That was another thing. She seemed to make herself endless cups of tea and often found them sitting about, half empty, hours later.
The afternoon stretched out in front of her. Perhaps she should go for a walk. It was such a beautiful day. Putting on her jacket, she headed off down the road and past the new subdivision. Everyone seemed so busy. There were men up on scaffolding, banging in nails and shouting to one another. The radio was blaring loudly and they seemed so happy in their work. No doubt their days passed quickly.
Evelyn had thought that volunteer work would help ll in her days. She’d always enjoyed meeting people and felt she would like to contribute in some small way by, say, working in a charity shop. Everyone she phoned, however, had more volunteers than they needed.
She had even phoned the Public Relations Of ce, but they said they had no record of any vacant volunteer positions.
“We always need helpers when there is an election,” they said. “Come back then.”
She had also asked at her local primary school if she could perhaps help out on a regular basis, but again, they had no need for outside help. She walked on and suddenly felt old and very alone.
“It’s like time has passed me by,” Evelyn thought. “I feel I’m on the outside of life, looking in.
“Oh, stop giving yourself so much sympathy,” she scolded herself. “You have so many things to be grateful for. You are healthy − well, apart from a few aches and pains! – you have a lovely home, you have friends, you have enough to eat and you can still drive your car. You had a great marriage and now it is time to move on to the next stage in your life. Move on to a new adventure.
“Move on… yes, but move on alone,” said an insidious little voice in her head.
Her friends had said, “Join a club – a garden club or a walking group. Join senior citizens!” She had gone – once – to a group. She didn’t know anyone, which she had expected. What she hadn’t anticipated was that everyone would tell her all about their aches and pains, their problems with their children and how lonely they were.
She had come home feeling exhausted after two hours. She had just wanted to crawl away and nd a quiet corner and forget everyone else’s worries. She had enough to contend with.
She crossed the road and found herself walking alongside open green elds.
There were low hedges along the road boundary.
No doubt this would be the next new subdivision.
She knew New
Zealand had a housing shortage, but new subdivisions seemed to be gobbling up the countryside.
The wind blew through the long grass. How lovely to see the trees wearing their new, bright green spring suits.
As she walked along, a faint sound intruded on her thoughts. At
rst she took no notice, as it vied for a position in her mind with the traf c noise. The sound came again so Evelyn stopped and focused on it.
Without a second thought, she stepped off the footpath and into the long grass on the side of the road. She lifted up the overhanging hedge. A little further along, she repeated the process and saw a tiny grey
‘Evelyn realised she needed to be needed. Perhaps that was the antidote to her loneliness...’
kitten with bright green eyes looking up at her. He opened his mouth but nothing happened. He tried again and the smallest of squeaks popped out, much to his astonishment and Evelyn’s delight.
She gathered him up in her arms and tucked him inside her jacket to keep him safe.
As she hurried home, she was full of plans. She must phone the vet and the SPCA and ask if anyone had lost a kitten. If not, she may be able to keep him. In the meantime, she would have to make a temporary bed for him in a box. Perhaps she should put her old red cardigan inside to keep him warm. She would have to buy some cat food from the supermarket and extra milk too. Did kittens drink milk, or were they better with water? She must ask the vet.
As she made her way home with a smile on her face and hope in her heart, a thought slipped into her mind, like a ray of light.
This tiny kitten needed her. They needed each other.
Evelyn realised she needed to be needed. Perhaps that was the antidote for her loneliness and a way for her to move forward.
Perhaps, everyone just needs to feel as if they are needed.