READER LETTER OF THE WEEK

Hi Jude,

My oldest child has just started at a new school in

Year 9. She has always been okay academically – nothing to really worry about. She could probably do better sometimes, but I have believed it’s important not to get too pushy and that the time will come when she will have to work a bit harder. I thought that might be mid-teens, but the start of this school term has really rocked her and left her feeling anxious about her ability to keep up. I’m trying to help with her maths but we just end up in terrible arguments. I suggested she could ask to go down a class (maths is streamed and it’s the one she worries about) but she really lost it. I’m not sure what to do. She’s suddenly so anxious and we don’t seem to be able to connect without a screaming match.

Ah, stress does awful things to the way people behave. I know it feels hard to feel sorry for her when she’s unloading on you, but it does sound like it’s mood swings coinciding with schoolwork worries.

It might seem like an easy and obvious x to ask to change her maths class, but that’s probably got three things against it: it’s a public admission to her peers that she’s not able to keep up; swapping classes might mean friend groups changing; and timetabling can be tricky in schools – she may have to swap more than the maths class.

Instead I’d pay for some maths help – either a tutor at home for a term, or a group class at a tuition centre.

Maths is a core subject to get on top of, so con dence is a good start. There’s also a lot more than maths in the mix too – new friends, hormones... Ah, the teenage years.