READER LETTER OF THE WEEK

Hey Jude,

My husband had some health troubles last year – a stroke and then heart issues. Ever since, he’s been in a deep funk and I have no idea how to help him. I would have thought that near-death experiences would have inspired him to live life more fully, but it seems like it’s the opposite! He refuses point-blank to go to see a therapist. Any ideas?

Anne

Life has certainly dealt him a couple of blows in the last year, and in doing so changed it for both of you. I imagine heart issues and a stroke make a good recipe to zap your confidence and make you feel mortal.

I’d be tempted to contact the Stroke Foundation as a start. They have a free community service that’s all about getting your life back into shape post-stroke. The process will, of course, be different for everyone depending on the severity of the stroke and what your life was like before the event, but I reckon it’s a good first stop for both of you. Give them a call on 0800 STROKE (0800 78 76 53) or jump on their website, stroke.org.nz.

They also have a return-towork adviser, which might be useful if he was previously working and that’s something he’d be interested in looking at.

I think if you approach it from a physical-health point of view and have a whisper in the ear of the home visitor about his malaise, you’ll have a better chance than keeping on about seeing a therapist when he doesn’t think he needs that.

The stroke home-visit people will be aware of his recovery journey and what it might do to his mental health. They may be able to wrap up some help for that with the physical and social stuff. It’s a free service, and they would likely be able to help refer him on to other services if necessary.