North Shore Times (New Zealand)
Dying husband’s care inspires guide book
A North Shore woman who cared for her terminally ill husband has written a book to help guide and support other socalled ‘‘accidental’’ carers.
Ros Capper from Devonport cared for her husband Mike Capper for three years while he died from cancer.
While she was helped along the way by friends, family and medical professionals, Ros says there was a lack of focus on carers like her.
‘‘I was looking around for a doorway that said ‘carers this way’ and I never saw one,’’ she says.
After Mike died, about two years ago, Ros says she started asking questions about the support for carers.
She joined the University of Auckland’s Te Arai Palliative Care and End of Life Research Group as a co-researcher.
The group supported Ros to write her book, The Accidental Carer, which is described as a practical guide for those offering palliative care at home for a loved one.
It features the stories of five people, including Ros, as they undergo the emotional and physical challenges.
Ros believes the guide is the first of its kind, and she wants all those giving palliative care at home to read the book and reach out for support.
‘‘I hope they access what others have learnt because it’s very hard and it can be very challenging to have someone dying in your home, losing 20kg no matter what you do and dealing with grief as well,’’ she says.
‘‘It will go pear-shaped, that’s for sure.’’
The book also includes practical ideas for people in the community to help those who are sick and to support the carers.
‘‘People are uneasy around illness and they don’t want to get it wrong - the result can be isolation both for the ill person and the carer.’’
Ros has also set up a website, accidentalcarer.com, which she hopes will encourage the sharing of knowledge and support.
Little packs, knitted by her neighbour, will be given out by Devonport pharmacists to families who have someone receiving palliative care. The packs include a card and the website address.
The Accidental Carer will be launched in Devonport Library today from 6.30pm. The book will be available from the website or Paradox Books in Devonport.