Difficult conversations

The next time you are faced with the chance to offer some constructive feedback to one of your team take a breath, work out what needs to be said, and go for it. Done with the right intention, and using an appropriate model, it will normally go much bette

I AM IN THE middle of renovations at my house and currently have a painter doing some work on the bedroom windows. The other day, I took a look at the preparation work he had done on the inside and wasn't overly impressed. It looked like he had skimped on sanding back the old paintwork with the result that the base on which he was about to apply the top coats was not what I would call ‘appropriate'.

I decided that I needed to say something to him about my expectations of quality and the fact that he wasn't meeting them.

I needed to have one of those difficult, courageous, feedback conversations. Some thoughts and feelings started coming up – What would he think of me? Would he think I was trying to tell him (a professional) how to do his job? Would he simply walk off the job and leave it half finished? Would he trash the house while I was out? etc.

Then I reminded myself that I can often start to feel like that when I have to give constructive feedback to someone, in a work setting as well as domestic as I tend to avoid what I see as confrontation.

As a result I avoid giving the feedback, end up disappointed with someone and perhaps not giving them the chance to show me that they can adapt and improve.

Having acknowledged that if I didn't provide him with my feedback I would be denying him the chance of being able to correct things (and ending up with some poor quality painting), I decided to speak to the painter when he arrived the following morning.

Using the Centre for Creative Leadership's SBI (Situation; Behaviour; Impact) feedback model describing the situation (his preparation work); what he had done (or not done) in terms of the level of sanding/creating a good base; and what I thought the impact would be (i.e. the finish would not be what I required and may need redoing) I let him know that I wanted him to deliver a high-quality finish and didn't feel the current level of preparation would deliver that.

I avoided any judgement of him as an individual (i.e. I didn't say I thought he was lazy or amateurish) and focused instead on the facts and the quality of the job.

He accepted the feedback well and spent the next couple of hours reprepping the window to a very good standard. That evening, I made a point of phoning him to comment on the high quality of what he had done, and in this way reinforced the performance I was looking for.

My experience with my painter has relevance in an organisational context.

Many of us shy away from providing feedback when thoughts or feelings come up for us about how the feedback might be received – similar to those that came up for me with my painter.

However, by taking a few simple steps, you can provide powerful and effective feedback to your people, and as a result, develop more of a high performance culture: • Remind yourself that your role as a leader is to set and monitor the expectations around behaviour and performance, and to point out when people are not meeting these. If you don't do it, who else will? • Use a non-judgemental feedback

model such as SBI. • Remind yourself that by providing feedback you are giving someone a gift they may never have had before (because everyone else has shied away from letting them know) and, as a result, the chance to do something to improve. • Offer to coach and support the member of staff who is looking to respond to the feedback. • Look for opportunities to provide positive and reinforcing feedback when the individual starts to operate in the desired way. So, the next time you are faced with the chance to offer some constructive feedback to one of your team (or your painter!), take a breath, work out what needs to be said, and go for it. Done with the right intention, and using an appropriate model, it will normally go much better than you might expect. Douglas Lang is the director of Altris Ltd (www.altris.co.nz) specialising in leadership development and coaching.