Kawarau was almost a bridge too far

SOME of you may not have heard of Mike Heard (no pun intended) but for the record he is now the holder of the Guinness world record for the most bungy jumps in 24 hours, notching 430 leaps in just over 24 hours in Auckland, starting on Tuesday night.

When I read the press release yesterday I had two thoughts. One was ‘‘430 consecutive bungy jumps; mate, you are kidding!’’

And the other? Well, to be honest it was more a string of mixed memories rather than a singular thought, all stemming from the time I managed just one (yes, ONE) bungy jump, a feat never, ever, to be repeated.

I don’t remember the actual date, 1989 or 1990 perhaps, but nearly 30 years later I still recall:

Paying the $75 at the Kawarau Bridge Bungy office and declining to pay another $30, for a video of the leap.

Queuing up on the historic bridge planks behind a long line of intending jumpers and having waaaaay to much time to think about what lay ahead.

Being weighed by the support crew (‘‘hey, we’ve got a biggie here, boys!’’), who then asked if I wanted to simply touch the water or ‘‘get really wet’’? They urged the latter for the ‘‘total experience’’ and with tongue stuck to the roof of my very dry mouth, I just nodded.

The hysterical outburst of a young girl ahead of me who decided she didn’t want to jump despite her father’s futile efforts to placate her. Not exactly a nervecalming experience for the rest of us.

Having my feet wrapped up and tied firmly to the bungy cord and being told ‘‘we’ll start the countdown from five, but don’t wait till one to jump’’ (sure thing) and ‘‘whatever you do, don’t look down’’.

Shuffling to the edge of the platform and immediately looking down to the milky, murky waters of Kawarau River 43 blurry metres below, wondering ‘‘but what if there are logs floating just under the surface?’’

Someone suddenly yelling ‘‘five, four, three. . . ’’ and then the unbelievable, utterly-terrifying realisation that I had

actually jumped! I was so sure I would not I had earlier checked at the office about getting my money back. Setting a Guinness world record for a prolonged profanity as I hurtled towards the river, clenching my fists above my head

just in time as I hit the water, plunging up to my waist and then being wrenched skywards again and again and again. Being lowered on to the bottom of the recovery raft and blithering excitedly to the pickup crew about the previous minute or so of my life. Yawn. They’d heard it all before.

Walking with rubbery legs up the gravel track to be reunited with my family and swearing never to do such a terrifying thing again.

So, as you might imagine from all this, I have the utmost respect for Mike Heard’s 430 bungy jumps off the Auckland Harbour Bridge (albeit it’s only 40m above the briny!), and for raising a lot of money for the Mental Health Foundation at the same time.

But if I ever get involved in fundraising in future, you can rest assured it will be with both feet planted firmly on terra firma!

Have you got a bungy jump-related story you’d like to share? Email thewash@odt.co.nz.