Family's plea after fatal drunken crash
Families — you need to read this. In the aftermath of the death of Alexandra man Ravineel Sharma as his family digests the sentence of the young man who killed their son, the Sharma family and police are pleading for change to help prevent another such tragedy.
Pam Jones relays a message that those affected by Mr Sharma’s death hope will be heard by both parents and young people.
IT was a Thursday night, and Derek Shaw had a feeling things were not going to turn out well when he answered his fireman’s pager just before midnight.
Also a detective sergeant in the police in Alexandra, and at present the acting Central Otago police subarea supervisor, it was wearing his volunteer fire officer’s hat that he headed off in the first crew to a car crash near the Alexandra airport, feeling uneasy about the outcome of a latenight accident on a weeknight, noting the drizzle as they drove out.
When they arrived, it was clear there had been a highimpact crash.
Three young men were in the vehicle, which had collided with a tree, its roof crushed.
The back seat passenger was out of the vehicle by the time emergency services arrived. The driver was trapped, only his shorts and one arm visible. And within minutes, fire crews knew the third person in the car was dead.
He was Ravineel Avikash Sharma, a 19yearold son, brother and friend who sustained severe head and neck injuries and died almost immediately in the front seat.
Scott David Millar, also 19, the driver of the car, was this week jailed for three years and 10 months for manslaughter and reckless driving after pleading guilty to the manslaughter of Ravineel Avikash Sharma and reckless driving causing injury on August 10.
But for Ravineel’s family, there would never be any closure, or justice, over the loss they had suffered, his parents, Ratnesh and Santa Sharma said.
‘‘We are a broken family. Our lives have been turned upside down.’’ Mr Sharma said.
‘‘It’s changed everything forever,’’ Mrs Sharma said. ‘‘There are no words to describe it. There’s so much in our minds but we can’t say it.’’
Det Sgt Shaw, a father himself, speaks forcefully when he tries to explain the impact of drinkdriving and young deaths on families, and on the emergency service workers who attend crashes.
He was the one who held Millar’s hand while crews cut him out of the car, having to work over the top of the deceased Ravineel.
Eighteen firefighters attended the scene — including at least five who knew both Millar and Ravineel (they both attended Dunstan High School) — as well as St John and police.
Everybody did their job professionally, but the impact of dealing with incidents like that — including for the two police officers who then had to knock on the Sharmas’ door in the middle of the night and tell them Ravineel had died — was immeasurable, Det Sgt Shaw said.
He is speaking out to try to prevent another tragedy, hoping it may help young people make better decisions and other parents realise the kinds of things their children may be doing.
And he is not mincing his words, wanting people to try to picture the true horror of the event and the ramifications it has had.
Det Sgt Shaw said the crash that killed Ravineel — and two other tragedies in Central Otago, the death of Palmerston man Andrew Grubb in a quad bike crash in Cromwell in 2016 and the death of Cromwell man Isaiah Garr in a car crash in the Cromwell gorge in February — were directly attributable to the youth drinking culture and involved either prolonged or binge drinking by the groups of young men in all three vehicles.
All three were ‘‘tragic case studies’’ of ‘‘what can go so wrong’’, Det Sgt Shaw said.
There is some anger in his voice when he talks about the crashes, but he says he is ‘‘just sad’’.
He talks about times when police officers and other emergency workers see calls from ‘‘mum’’ or ‘‘dad’’ on caller ID at crash scenes or in morgues on the phones of young people who have just been killed.
It was haunting, harrowing and catastrophic for emergency workers, and he wants the public to try to picture that.
‘‘There is nothing worse than knowing somebody’s mum or dad is looking for their child, and they don’t yet know they’re never going to see them again.’’
He knows it is young men aged 18 to 28 who are drinking most dangerously and he is aiming his message at them and their parents but also wanting to ‘‘intervene’’ and reach teenagers aged 14 to 16 before any negative drinking culture is established.
He does not think the drinking culture is any worse in rural areas than in the cities, but does think those from rural areas believe they can ‘‘get away’’ with drinkdriving.
And he says parents need to look at their own rolemodelling too — how they are drinking, the amount of alcohol they are supplying to their children, and how they are supervising any gatherings at their homes; earlier this year an ambulance had to be called for a 15yeargirl who drank so much vodka at an Alexandra party she became comatose. The party was supervised by parents.
The Sharma family have had a horror week.
Last Friday, three days before Millar’s sentencing, Ravineel would have turned 20, and the following day it was his father’s birthday, normally a twoday joyous family celebration each year but now ruined forever.
Before his death, the family had been planning a big 21st for Ravineel with his extended family in Fiji, and his parents had ‘‘such big hopes for him’’.
They are speaking out to try to stop another family going through what they are.
‘‘The focus of this is trying to help the young ones and other families. Rav would be happy if he had saved even one person. He was very soft natured, giving, he would have done anything for everyone.’’
The Sharmas and Det Sgt Shaw want families and young people to look out for each other: not to drink and drive, not get in a car with a drunk driver, and to take the keys from drunk people so they cannot drive.
Mr Sharma says it is vital people do these things, even if it causes friction or fights at the time.
He also wants young people to realise they are not bulletproof, and to value genuine friendship more, and realise it is ‘‘not just about arriving somewhere and drinking beer’’.
And they are urging young people to keep more in touch with their parents while they are out, to answer their texts and agree to safe travel options.
‘‘Parents don’t want to spoil their children’s night out, they just want to know they are safe,’’ Mrs Sharma said.
‘‘Kids need to learn that their parents are always worried about them. Just pick up the phone, let their parents know they’re OK. It’s all we want.’’
Det Sgt Shaw wants to praise the young people who are making good decisions, including those who make arrangements to get home safely from parties.
He says the message about drinkdriving is getting through to a lot of people, but more needs to be done to reach those who aren’t listening.
‘‘We don’t know about the good decisions, we are only left with the bad decisions. They can be rectified in some way by changing how we drink and putting safety plans in place so that we can largely ensure as many of our young people as possible get home safely. I don’t think we’re doing that at the moment, and the cost is just too high.’’