Name trends come and go, but some connotations remain
MY old mate George, a lifelong Labour supporter, has been nattering away about soon becoming a grandfather for the first time and wondering what name will be used for the baby.
‘‘It won’t be Neve,’’ he spluttered. ‘‘Where did they get that from?’’
I pointed out that at least it was different and, better still, it’s Irish! There were 13,000 baby names used in New Zealand last year and Neve (pronounced ‘‘neave’’, I’m told, or ‘‘nev’’ if you are film star Neve Campbell) didn’t make the top hundred.
The bureaucrats who police how we name our children found about 40 worth banning (including Messiah), and there was nothing as ludicrous as Anal, which appeared in the 2013 banned list.
So, while the system weeds out offensive names, it fails to give advice about names which may well lumber babies with difficulties in the future. Even the most popular names offer examples of dodgy thinking by parents.
When I saw that Arlo was the tenth most popular name for boys in 2017, I thought at once of the Essex town of Harlow. Harlow is no great tourist attraction and most motorists on the M11 speed past without ever turning off to visit the place. But Harlow sticks in my memory because of a prank of the 1980s. Three miles south of the town a huge sign read ‘‘Harlow’’, and the same word appeared on a sign just a mile from the town and then, just before the Harlow offramp, came a third and untidier sign asking, ‘‘Who’s Your Lady Friend?’’ This last sign was swiftly removed by the local council, but not before I’d driven out of my way a couple of times just to see it again.
The rest of the boys’ top ten seem safe enough. George has made spot seven, encouraging for my old mate and underlining our love of royalty in spite of republican rumblings.
Old favourites like John have long gone. Jack is now the trend and sits at number two, while William and James are not far behind. In these days of personal pretentiousness those boys will never be Bill or Jim. Oliver, which remains the most popular boys’ name year after year, will never become Ollie as long as parents hang on to their misplaced faith in their sons’ superiority to all other males. Of course, we oldies think at once of the fat buffoon Oliver Hardy from the films of long ago, and any young Oliver I’m introduced to is probably mystified by my sudden guffaw.
One oddity I can’t explain is the rise of Noah from place seven to number three. Something must have happened in the 1990s to give Noah a boost. In 1990 in the United States only 636 babies in every million were called Noah, but by 2016 about 10,000 babies per million were being called Noah.
In New Zealand, given our aping of all things American, Noah has enjoyed a similar surge. I wondered if some rap artist or film star called Noah had emerged in the 1990s but then it all became clear. The 1990s was the decade of the great fear of global warming and the consequent widespread flooding. Obvious, when you think about it.
The most popular girls’ names include all the usual suspects. Charlotte, Olivia, Amelia, Sophie and Emily. Mary, it seems, has gone the way of John, and become just too far down market. But there is a worry with some girls’ names if you want to pronounce them properly.
The thirdmost popular girls’ name is Isla for the second year in a row, and it’s pronounced ‘‘eyela’’, but I had to think of the Scottish island Islay before I got it right. Mia is the seventh on the list and is pronounced ‘‘meeah’’, but many say ‘‘myah’’. My granddaughter is Maya and thankfully there’s no confusion there. The big winner in the 2017 name game is Mila, apparently a Slav name used by a handful of American actresses and models, and so it has become a hot name in this country.
No doubt I’ll meet a Mila one day who will tell me if she wants ‘‘myla’’ or ‘‘meela’’.
Old George is not a bad sort of bloke apart from his rabbiting on about the Labour Party and its achievements, so I rang him the other day to find out about progress with his daughter’s pregnancy.
‘‘Great news, Jim. She had the baby last week. Seven and ahalf pounds and it’s got my nose! Mother and baby both well. And here’s the really good news. They’ve decided against Neve and called him Jacinda!’’
❛ While the system weeds out offensive names, it fails to give advice about names which may well lumber babies with difficulties in the future.