Cathedral and stadium rest in hands of the Almighty
IN an example of religious tolerance unequalled since the Catholic Jim Bolger became National Party prime minister, three denominations have joined to minimise the costs of the
Christchurch rebuild.
With the replacement of the Anglican ($104 million) and Catholic ($105 million) cathedrals and the new stadium ($500 million) now heading towards well over $700 million, wise heads have prevailed. In a memorandum of understanding signed by three top religious leaders, His Holiness Pope Francis I, The Most Reverend and Right Honourable the Lord Archbishop of Canterbury, and His Most Excellent Reverence Sir Richie McCaw, an agreement has been reached on building the world’s first cathedral/stadium.
The building will take up all of Cathedral Square, but insiders are excited by the prospect of getting something, anything, done. Greater Christchurch Regeneration Minister Megan Woods was not available for comment, but an aide described the Minister as ‘‘a lovely woman.’’
The project communications manager, Michelle Crawfish, believes the melding of two major Christian churches with an even larger sportbased faith will be a winwin situation. Or at least a draw.
‘‘The cost of a stadium can now include a multifaith religious venue unlike any other project that I’m aware of,’’ enthused Crawfish.
‘‘The brief was to give Dunedin a hard time, so we need room for 30,000 or more people if we are to get any top tier rugby tests. Of course, none of the churches will need seating for 30,000. The present Cardboard Cathedral holds 7000 and I’ve never seen the ‘‘House Full’’ sign there. Pope John Paul II did get 40,000 in the rain at Lancaster Park in 1986 but, of course, he was a better singer than Ed Sheeran.
‘‘We probably won’t see another pope with that drawing power for years. If one does come, at least the Christchurch weather won’t be a problem with the covered stadium.
‘‘The churches will be happy to use what we’re calling the Righteous Stand, which holds 12,000 sitting or kneeling. A collapsible altar can be wheeled out and the choirs will use the area set aside for bench players. The baptism font will also supply the water boys.
‘‘There will be a steeple with bells at the front of the stadium to call the faithful to worship and those bells can also be rung when the All Blacks score. The pipe organ in the East Stand will do Nearer My God to Thee as well as a decent version of God Defend New Zealand and the television screens will show the hymn lyrics and slow motion replays of the Consecration. Each church can tweak the venue.
‘‘For the Catholics the advertising signs around the pitch can be programmed to show the various stages of the Stations of the Cross.
‘‘There will be clashes, of course, but a Choral Evensong and Elton John would make a nice double bill. Imagine Elton belting out the Nunc dimittis. Both local bishops are keen to use the hospitality suites to encourage more churchgoing.
‘‘We’re talking multipurpose here. We’d like the cathedral/stadium to serve the whole community. Muslims would have more room to spread themselves out than they’ve ever had. The Salvation Army would be welcome at the citadel/stadium. The Righteous Stand could accommodate three or four services going at once.
‘‘Just imagine, the Catholic and Anglican choirs, the Salvation Army band and maybe a few Hare Krishna types banging away and chanting at the same time. Absolute bedlam. Better than Pink. And free! And what a venue for the Second Coming! We’ll keep the trams in the Square. They will deliver players right to the touchline and bridal parties to the altar for weddings.
‘‘We have a hearse tram for funerals and there won’t be a dry eye as the tram clangs its bell and trundles away with the late lamented. Already we’ve had inquiries from train spotters from overseas who say they’d die to be carried off in tram. This sort of thing will really put Christchurch on the map. The stadium/cathedral will be home ground for the Crusaders, so it’s just a pity the original Crusaders did so much to give Christianity a bad press.
‘‘Naming rights are still being negotiated and the best offer has come from the Destiny Church. That name has a certain appeal but I’ve heard there are other organisations with even more money to throw around than Bishop Brian.
‘‘We may have to have dual naming rights to accommodate the rugby interest. There’s an Australian jockstrap company who are very keen, but we shall see.
‘‘Now, I realise that a lot of you will write this plan off as yet another bureaucratic scheme that may never got off the ground, like Dunedin’s $20 million bridge to nowhere, but I can assure you that that by 2022 Christchurch will have a cathedral/ stadium of which we can all be proud. God willing.’’
❛ The brief was to give Dunedin a hard time, so we
need room for 30,000 or more people if we are to get
any top tier rugby tests.