‘Proud Kiwi’ puts case for retaining NZ as name

Zealander” was clearly a proud work in progress.

There are the dirty dollar matters too. Our European name implies we are a part of valuable European traditions of trade, law and democracy. And the “Pure New Zealand” and “100% Pure” brands won’t readily flip to a “Pure Aotearoa”.

New Zealand still has a thousand matters about its fundamentals to quibble over and resolve. But the fact is New Zealand has made a quite brilliant success of itself. It’s no idle smallcountry boast to claim that we are the envy of others because, quite simply, we are. People don’t just want to visit us and admire the scenery — increasingly they want to BE New Zealanders

If we asked: “Hey would you want to be an Aotearoan?” we know we’d be met with a blank face.

Aotearoa is damn alluring, but all in all, I prefer to remain a proud New Zealander.

Dear Uncle Norm

Dean Jones would give David Warner a run for the title of pushiest cricketer to ever wear the Aussies’ baggy green cap. Jones has died in India — he was only 59 — and I suppose it’s fair that the eulogies dwell on his electric batting and fielding. But we shouldn’t forget the man was a pain.

Silly Short Leg, Ashburton.

You’re a touch harsh, but true, Dean Jones wasn’t short of swagger. Oddly, it seems that more than most, he needed approval.

During the 1988 Australia v West Indies series Jones, like the rest of his side’s top order, struggled against the aggression and frightening speed of the likes of Malcolm Marshall and Curtly Ambrose.

After receiving yet another pasting, Jones bumped into the great Sir Donald Bradman, the legend who’d bat one wicket ahead of God in any Aussie batting lineup.

“If you’d batted against quicks like these, do you think you’d have done any better than me?” young Deano anxiously asked

Sir Donald.

“Probably not,” said Bradman, straightening his tie, and adjusting his braces.“Mind you, I did turn 79 last month.”

That’s the kind of yarn one hopes is true.

Dear Uncle Norm,

When I turned 50 last week, my wife gave me a present accompanied by a card which bore a Winston Churchill quote: “Don’t worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you.”

What do you make of that?

Albert, Fendalton

Sometime my readers flummox me. If that was the card Albert, what on earth was the present? Two kilos of Viagra? A King James Bible? A brace of custard tarts?