‘I have had moments when I don’t want to sing any more’

She may be riding high in the charts, but Aaradhna understands the stress and anxiety of being down. By Philip Matthews.

KIWI songbird Aaradhna has lifted the lid on her battles with racism, depression and self-doubt.

‘‘It’s been tough at times,’’ she says. ‘‘I have had my moments when I just don’t want to do music any more – or anything for that matter – but after some time away, my lows gave me something to write about. Some days I doubt myself and my whole career but other days I feel confident as hell and nothing can stop me. I have my ups and downs.’’

Born Aaradhna Patel to an Indian father and a Samoan mother, the 32-year-old experienced racism from two directions and sings openly about it on her latest album, Brown Girl. But she says she is also no stranger to depression and finds creativity and publicity very stressful.

‘‘Sensitive people are always going to feel things more deeply than most, the good and the bad. For me it’s a part of the creative process, putting a lot of effort into the craft, over-thinking everything and knowing what I make is going to be judged. That brings on more overthinking, which can lead to unnecessary stress.

‘‘Being in the spotlight means every little thing about you gets attention and exposure, from what you wear to how you sing and what you say in public. Hearing all kinds of opinions about you and your music can be pretty tiring.’’

The numbers show that Aaradhna is far from alone. The New Zealand Music Community Wellbeing Survey went out to more than 1350 songwriters, composers, performers and others in July. It found that people in the local music community are two and half times more likely to be diagnosed with depression than the general population, one and a half times more likely to have an anxiety disorder, and more than twice as likely to attempt suicide. They are nearly three and half times more likely to have issues with hazardous drinking and more than three quarters – 84 per cent, in fact – said it had affected their ability to function.

The prevalence of depression and anxiety has prompted the launch of the New Zealand Music Foundation Wellbeing Service, which offers counselling online, via phone or in person.

Crowded Hosue legend Neil Finn, patron of the New Zealand Music Foundation, says the service is necessary ‘‘because it is a very unique and different occupation’’.

‘‘I have great hopes for it. It’s not going to catch everybody. Some people aren’t going to pick up a phone but it’s important to have that first line of contact.’’

That echoes Aaradhna’s answer to a question about what can be done to ease the burden on musicians. ‘‘I guess just a reminder that we’re humans and it helps to have supportive, positive people around you that are there to listen.’’

But over whether the Kiwi music industry has to take a strong line on promoting healthy attitudes to drugs and alcohol, Aaradhna says it’s up to musicians to look after themselves.

‘‘Everyone is in charge of themselves and what they want to do with their life,’’ she says. ‘‘They have choices. At the end of the day it’s up to the individual.’’

Even the unpredictability of the music business can be a positive as well as a negative in the end, she thinks. ‘‘It’s all a gamble. I kind of like it that way. It’s real.’’ The New Zealand Music Foundation Wellbeing Service nzmusicfoundation.org.nz/wellbeing or 0508 MUSICHELP.