One guy’s banter is another’s racism
The Mad Butcher’s experience shows it’s best to limit the edgy humour to close friends.
THE late, great Manu Samoa legend Papali’itele Peter ‘‘Fats’’ Fatialofa had a great way of explaining an acceptable context for light-hearted racial banter.
He said: ‘‘You can call me a coconut to my face but you had better be a really good friend first.’’
Generally, Pacific Islanders don’t like being referred to by that term, which was the fashion in the awesomely fun days of racist 1970s New Zealand.
If you weren’t a really good friend of Fatialofa’s and you used that label, chances are the response wouldn’t be his trademark grin, but something more akin to a piano being hurled in your direction.
Fatialofa was suggesting that someone referring to your ethnicity in an offensive way can be acceptable, if that someone is really close to you and you don’t mind. Otherwise, perhaps it’s a good idea to not talk like that to people you have never met before. If you do, be prepared for the possibility that you could offend someone.
It’s a lesson the Mad Butcher, Sir Peter Leitch, learned this week on Waiheke Island when he claimed that his light-hearted banter with a young Maori woman was misinterpreted as racist comments.
Local resident Lara Bridger claimed Leitch had told her Waiheke was ‘‘a white man’s island’’. Bridger said she was shocked, saying: ‘‘I’m local, I’m tangata whenua, I was born on this island.’’
Sir Peter claims: ‘‘She said that she was tangata whenua and could do what she liked, and I responded with a joke about it being a white man’s island also. This was not a serious comment and was only ever intended to be light-hearted banter.’’
I’ve met Sir Peter throughout the years during his charity work, or his work with rugby league in New Zealand, and always found him to be quite a crack-up character whose default setting is to take the mickey. He’s a guy who always takes his work seriously, but never likes to take himself too seriously.
If I had run into him on Waiheke and he had joked like that, I would have laughed and shot back with a joke about how actually he’s right, which is why not many people of colour go there (not to mention the cost of the ferry ticket, equivalent to a house deposit in other parts of New Zealand).
But I can also understand why Bridger was upset. Not just because she’s a born and bred local who was upset at a perceived inference that she didn’t belong there.
All she’s seen of Sir Peter is his advocacy work on TV for the various causes that he supports. In the absence of experiencing his fondness for that type of lighthearted banter, she would find what he said offensive.
The thing is that unless you’re a comedian talking to your audience and being really funny and clever about it, there aren’t many situations in life where you could include jokes about race in polite small talk with people you’ve just met. Even if you’re an awesome human who has done loads for the community.
Whoever you are, stick to Fats’ rule and you will at least avoid hurting people, or getting hurt yourself, feeling that you’ve been misunderstood.
‘ There aren't many situations where you can joke about race in polite small talk with people you've just met. ’