Lessons behind bars
It’s a long time since I was last in prison. It was the prison ward at San Francisco General Hospital during the height of the Aids epidemic. It was full of hard-core criminals from San Quentin State Prison, ravaged by the effects of HIV.
They couldn’t escape the place or the disease. Still, it was intimidating going through three sets of steel doors and security to attend to America’s most wanted.
Twenty-five years later, I have been invited to a New Zealand prison to give a talk.
My anxiety is palpable, maybe stirred form the memories of the San Quentin experience but more from what will I talk about and will they like it?
It’s a hot summer’s day, the tarseal is melting as my retro ambulance pulls up to a correctional facility in the rural heartland. Random thoughts bounce around in my cortex sending messages to my amygdala, the alarm centre of my brain, which creates our fight, flight or freeze response.
What if there is a riot? How can I connect with prison inmates and deliver a talk of value? Will I get out? The rational and irrational thoughts accelerate as I approach the office. Then, ‘‘You must be Dr Tom We have been expecting you!’’
I follow the line to the next security stop; no watch, no cell phone, just the clothes I stand in as I go through more gates to meet my captive audience. It’s big room with about 50 inmates and a whiteboard, what could possibly go wrong? The atmosphere is almost jovial and is surreal as I introduce myself. I see a room full of men, humans who have been locked up for a variety of crimes.
The hour flies by as I run through tools the men can use to manage emotions such as stress, frustration, anger and jealousy.
One of the biggest problems they identify is the thought that their partner is cheating on them while they are on the inside. Like a runaway train, their thoughts can consume their days and nights, just like those of us on the outside.
Some have found strategies to control their stinking thinking, such as substituting unhealthy thoughts with healthy ones, and managing the situation.
Many of us are trapped in emotions like anxiety, jealousy and anger, products of our thoughts and beliefs.
As the hour draws to a close, I sense the crowd getting restless. I’m not boring them, the guard tells me, but it’s nearly the prisoners’ dinner time and they have a routine.
As they file out of the room in a hurry to eat, I amfarewelled by high-fives and firm handshakes. It’s a humbling experience and a reflective one. An abnormal situation seems surprisingly normal.
For some inmates prison life is normal and they are chilled without the stress of having to survive in the outside world: no bills to pay, no mortgage, no meals to cook. For those with mental health issues it may well be a respite from the stress of trying to survive outside.
It’s a far cry from San Quentin and the prison ward but humans are humans, whether you are ravaged by Aids or locked up for parking fines or murder. As I 123RF retrace my steps to the outside world and gather my belongings, I am reminded how empathy, respect and kindness go a long way wherever you are.
I feel grateful to be born into a loving family. I can escape the prison confines on a beautiful summer day. ● Dr Tom Mulholland is an Emergency Department Doctor and GP with over 25 years experience in New Zealand. He’s currently a man on a mission, tackling health missions around the world.