Baby blues hit dads hard too
She picked up hobby baking at the end of her masters degree in 2010.
‘‘When I’m baking it’s a to make that person’s day a bit brighter if they’re having a rough time.
‘‘The ability to make something from scratch yourself, get something out of that experience, and then pass that experience forward is a huge thing.’’
Celebrity baker Chelsea Winter compared baking to therapy.
Before her cookbooks, Winter said she would come home from a manic day at the office and start cooking to feel ‘‘connected’’ again.
‘‘To be present in the moment when you’re measuring, mixing and whisking is almost meditative. It allows you a moment of calm in the crazy storm of life.’’ WELLINGTON dad Neil Boothby says the baby blues came out of nowhere after his daughter arrived.
‘‘It was weird – in a word. The horrible part was not understanding why you were feeling this way – why you were basically blaming this little human for crying.’’
A study released in February reported 6.2 per cent of men experienced depression symptoms from the third trimester of pregnancy to nine months after birth.
But Boothby says he was excited throughout the pregnancy – it was only after the baby was born that he started to feel angst and tension.
‘‘She would be fed and you would get her to bed and she would just cry. I was holding her in my arms and ... I was never a danger or anything, but I would look at her and go ‘Why are you crying?’
‘‘It was a good eight or nine weeks of almost running out of the house to go to work in the morning so I didn’t have to be with this attention-seeking little human.’’
It was the midwife who joined the dots.
‘‘I told her the baby was crying for no reason at all and she said, ‘Neil, your child is four weeks old. She is crying because she needs something.’
‘‘She said, ‘Have you thought about the fact you might have the baby blues? What you’re experiencing are the typical signs for the dad, but it never gets spoken about’.’’
Antoinette Ben, executive director at Post and Ante-Natal Distress Support Wellington, estimates that for every 10 women who asked her organisation for help, one father would come forward – and most were firsttime dads.
‘‘It’s quite centred around the mumand the physical act of having a baby, but it’s a huge change for both of them,’’ Ben said. ‘‘It’s the feeling of being so tired and overwhelmed, you don’t necessarily feel all those wonderful feelings you expected and so you feel guilty for that. That can create even more distance. Women and men both experience that,’’ Ben said.
Symptoms included low mood, lethargy, feelings of inadequacy and lack of interest in things they used to enjoy.
Dr Dougal Sutherland of Victoria University School of Psychology says some dads were unable to recognise they were struggling with their mental health.
‘‘Particularly with a first child, you’re so deeply in it with the first baby, it’s very hard to see out over the edge of the parapet, so to speak, because you’re up to your neck in nappies and bottles,’’ Sutherland said.
Boothby wants new dads to have the courage to talk to someone. ‘‘There is such a machoism around being a new father and being the protector – but it is natural and there are people out there who are aware of it.’’
To be present in the moment when you’re measuring, mixing and whisking is almost meditative.’ CHELSEA WINTER, LEFT The horrible part was not understanding why you were feeling this way – why you were basically blaming this little human for crying.’ NEIL BOOTHBY