Ngatai: I feared that my career was over
‘ In the first few months, I struggled a bit. CHARLIE NGATAI
CHARLIE Ngatai feared the worst as he suffered 11 months of headaches, dizziness and blackouts.
‘‘You get a lot of thoughts over that time. You get positive ones and bad ones,’’ the Chiefs midfielder said on his return from concussion in Waikato premier club rugby on Saturday.
‘‘Some thoughts you get are that you’re never going to play rugby again or can I do it? Can I get back out on the field again and can I take a few hits?
‘‘I’ve overcome those and here I am, back out there and having a crack.’’
Ngatai hasn’t played since suffering a head knock on May 7 last year, when the Highlanders beat the Chiefs 26-13 in Hamilton.
The 26-year-old was in the form of his life and ready to fill the void in the All Blacks midfield left vacant after the retirements of Conrad Smith and Ma’a Nonu.
But Ngatai, who won his one All Blacks cap in Samoa in 2015, was to endure a frustrating and scary period of chronic headaches and occasional blackouts that affected his daily life.
‘‘In the first few months, I struggled a bit. For me and my partner, it was tough for her going through that but she held on strong and was really supportive,’’ he said.
Ngatai was also grateful for the help he received from head injury specialists ABI, who gave him a routine to follow in his recovery as he worked towards playing again.
‘‘At some stage, I thought I wouldn’t be back out there but I’m fortunate to be,’’ he admitted.
Ngatai sought advice from Ben Afeaki and James Broadhurst, who’ve not been so lucky.
Afeaki, a former Chiefs prop who won one All Blacks cap, retired because of concussion issues in 2015 and Broadhurst hasn’t played since his All Blacks debut in the same year because of headaches that ‘won’t go away’.
Ngatai said his symptoms were the same.
‘‘It was unfortunate for them that they hadn’t gotten over their issues and I have,’’ he said.
‘‘You never know what’s DOM ZAPATA/FAIRFAX NZ around the corner with concussion and I was able to do a little bit of training with a little bit of symptoms, pushing myself towards not getting symptoms. I wanted to do exercise but I kept getting headaches.’’
After almost a year out, Ngatai returned to rugby in Waikato’s premier competition and played the first half at fullback for University as they won 30-20 at Otorohanga. There were nerves prior to lacing up again.
‘‘But I got over that and once I put on the boots to get out there and warm up,’’ Ngatai said.
‘‘Those nerves went away and I started to get excited to play again.’’
Ngatai has ambitions to wear black again and the Lions tour could be his chance – and potentially for the Maori All Blacks in Rotorua.
For now, though, Ngatai is just happy to play again. ‘‘It was just about getting the boots on and getting back out there.’’