Baby, let’s get away
Jealous of child-free friends taking cheeky weekend mini-breaks, recently ‘embabied’ reporter Matt Shand discovers whether it is still possible to do a plus-one retreat with a toddler in tow.
Baby arrived and travel ended. Logistically it was nearly impossible. By the time you pack nappies, clothes, wipes, food, Bumbo, portacot, toys, snacks, food, bottles, car seat and pram there is no room for your own luggage. Fear of being, ‘‘that guy’’ on an aeroplane as little one screams her way into everyone’s post-flight Facebook status updates has eliminated that option for the time being.
But life after baby must exist, so the plan was hatched. A stressfree, baby-included holiday weekend with the family. A test of whether following an urge for a quick escape was possible. Like any good spur-of-the-moment trip, this would require extensive, and meticulous, planning.
Baby can survive up to five hours of car-seat travel before exploding into a tantrum supernova and halting the trip quicker then engine failure. It is drummed into new parents to never let infants ride in the car for more than two hours at a time, wherever possible, and with this advice in mind Rotorua, Napier and Tauranga were the most obvious targets.
Rotorua had always been on the bucket list. A smug mate in his baby-free relationship just raved about a weekend away in Rotorua so, in the spirit of keeping up with the Joneses, Rotorua was the target. It would definitely be a challenge, and no extended family to dump baby off to for a couple’s night out. The clincher was TripAdvisor’s glowing reviews of family-friendly hotels.
Quest Motel had just been named the 2017 TripAdvisor Travellers’ Choice Award and Arista Hotel had received best family hotel in New Zealand. The last trip to Rotorua resulted in a stay at the infamous ‘‘Silver Oaks Resort’’, so a little luxury was in order for the first night, which Quest would deliver. The Quest also featured an outdoor spa pool with a view of the Skyline Rotorua complex. Two huge rooms, ideal for when baby decides that instead of sleeping they want to lie in your bed and kick you all night. Additional beds are perfect as they allow parents to roster in and out so at least you both get two hours’ sleep.
With so much on offer, activities were harder to select. Anything too physical would be eliminated by baby but, at the same time, things had to appeal to baby and parents. Quest concierges helped hone the list as well as pointing out the new Eat Street in town, which made dinner easy. With takeaways loaded on the dining room table, the list of activities was narrowed down to Possible With Baby, Impossible With Baby and Oh Dear God No. After a night in baby’s ‘‘super bath spa pool’’, which she refused to exit, the muscles were relaxed and ready for the day. The second bed wasn’t needed as the portacot provided must have been superior to our own and she slept the night away. Any parent will say that a small child sleeping all night is basically a holiday in itself and we could have left our destination with that one victory under the belt and been happy. But adventure called. So, car crammed to bursting, we roared off to the first activity.
In case of emergency a ‘‘backup-baby’’ was arranged who was older and, according to the manual, less prone to meltdowns. Losing a child in a maze is a nightmare scenario, but baby laughed the whole way through this activity so she was easy enough to locate. There were some raised eyebrows, but it proved to be a winner.
The maze was slow-going, mainly because baby insisted on walking the entire time except when being held above the walls to spy on secret routes through. If she had learned to talk, that might have proved helpful. Sure enough, she trotted into the centre and had an odd look of smug swagger when she did. One of the must-do, must-see activities in Rotorua and for good reason. One, there’s a sign up top that says welcome to Rotovegas for instant comedy gold. Two, it’s packed with fun things to do.
Baby held it together, just, to get onboard and from then it was all Hallmark moments. Fear of heights is not genetic, but it is also not curable for parents. But it’s hard to be a baby about it when baby doesn’t care.
Having only driven through Rotorua, it was great to get a full perspective of the city which the top of the gondola provides. Most of the activities at the top were a bit advanced for baby so I tucked them away for a follow up visit on a boys weekend. But the luge said it was all ages, so that was the next plan. It’s a classic and for good reason. The Luge offers speed freaks a chance to tear up the track and families a ‘‘pleasant glide’’ down the hill followed by a pleasant chairlift up. This would have been great were it not for a baby meltdown over the concept of wearing a helmet. After multiple attempts that mission was abandoned and the parents took turns at the Luge instead. This worked out well because it allowed for the advanced and expert tracks to be attempted, which are… preferred.
Mumtook the first few rides while baby enjoyed the Jelly Belly concept store. A quick lunch at the Skyline Cafe sated the hunger and prepared everyone for another laugh-filled ride down the gondola. Replacement baby was a good idea. This tour was fun but I believe original baby would have lasted five minutes then cried the remaining 85. This is worse than the nightmare aeroplane scenario because the duck can stop and you can get out, probably to cheers PHOTOS: MATT SHAND from the remainder of the passengers.
Having been stuck behind one of these World War II relics on a tour of the town, it was fun to be in the front seat waving at the slowed traffic behind. The tour guide really makes these sorts of trips if they are able to give you a bit of a laugh, teach you a few things about the district and give you a special experience. This guy had it down and made what had potential to be a bit dull into something great. Hearing about the Blue Lake and how it was formed was generally interesting and getting to drive onto it was unique. Replacement baby found millions of dollars worth of entertainment value from the 10 cent plastic duck call handed out at the start, which lasted the entire 90-minute trip. Clad in classic villa style, complete with brick, this place has an interesting look about it. It did not take long to figure out why the motel was ranked a top family destination. One of those reasons made himself known pretty quick. Mike Gallagher is more mate than motelier: Quick to invite guests over for a beer or to watch the rugby, he talks passionately about his love for family.
At the doorway to the motel a large framed article outlines his own family’s struggle after having a child diagnosed with a brain tumour. Gallagher is only too eager to donate accommodation to parents looking after sick children at Rotorua Hospital each year.
The large, fenced playground was built to give parents a breather while putting a smile on children’s faces and it really made a difference. Baby had a blast exploring the colourful playground and jumping from playhouse to pirate ship.
The room was spacious and could easily have slept another few children, but surely only a fool would go through that experience twice. There was another private spa for spoilt baby to splash in before conking out for the evening. Mike said it best: you need more than a weekend to enjoy Rotorua.
Today has been fun, but running around trying to fit everything into two days was taking its toll. In fact, it was a bit stressful. Next time taking longer and taking it easy would be ideal. Lions are exciting, but baby prefers sheep and ducks. Luckily, this place had both so it was a good compromise. The weather turned but that didn’t stop the fun. We were worn out from chasing baby across the park, especially near the trout pools which she found oddly hypnotising.
Baby discovered the joy of feeding animals. Like, an entire bag per animal. Usually thrown at the animal’s face. In handfuls. She has toy lions but seeing the real thing was a shock. But she knew they went ‘‘rarrrr’’ and reminded them of this whenever they walked past the fence.
In the end she lost interest and went to find the trout pools. Must get that as a screensaver for long nights. After a day of lions and animals, and with the drive back approaching, a soak in silicainfused waters was the ideal way to wrap up the trip. Baby had a ball in her larger-than-life bathtub and it was not easy to get her to leave. Parents could enjoy the hotter pool and help defuse some of those muscle groups that have become achy messes since baby was born.
It was not enough to completely undo 15 months of wakeful nights, but it came pretty close. As an added bonus, the hot pools wiped baby out for the trip back so, in a rare luxury, both parents got to sit in the front seat. Yes, it really is about small victories after baby arrives.
The trip was filled full of great memories but now I’m home it would be hard to say it was relaxing. Taking Monday off would be a good idea, one being toyed with.
The car was filled with food packets and bags to put away and the broken baby routine would take days to fix. But on the whole, it was worth it.
And good to know there is plenty more on offer in Rotorua for families with attractions that will age along with baby meaning there will always be plenty to do in Rotorua. ● The writer was a guest of Destination Rotorua. com