Where are the jokes?
Spider-Man: Homecoming (TBC) 133 mins TO understand what started so right and then rapidly went so wrong with the latest Spider-Man reboot, I typed into Google ‘‘how did jon watts get the spider man movie’’ (I can drop my usual grammatical pedantry for internet searches).
It’s not a very satisfactory answer: the executive producers picked the director who’d impressed them with Cop Car (for good or bad, I had never heard of Cop Car until writing this review) and felt they could get along with him for the duration of the film’s production.
Hmmm. I think as a viewer – whether a Marvel fan or just someone who doesn’t want to burn 20 bucks when they go to the cinema – I’d want better reasons than that.
You don’t need an accomplished director to make a good movie, obviously, but what Spider-Man: Homecoming has going for it revolves more around the charm of its lead, Tom Holland, and the initial flurry of originality in the opening act than how the film is put together and where the plot takes us.
Sadly, the promising start soon falls flat, and we’re left with an unmemorable attempt to replace Tobey Maguire and Andrew Garfield, both of whose tales about the boy-superhero far surpass this one.
Plot-wise, Homecoming situates the teenager back in high school where he already knows he possesses crime-fighting will and superpowers (and he’s already had his breakthrough outing with the Avengers, as seen in Captain America: Civil War) but Tony Stark, the unlikely father figure who saw potential and gave him his big break, is keeping him hanging with ‘‘Don’t call us, we’ll call you’’.
Desperate to be useful to his community, Peter Parker (dubbed ‘‘Penis’’ Parker by a schoolboy nemesis who never amounts to anything more than a slight thorn in his side) goes about stopping criminals of his own accord, before discovering a crime ring is using alien technology to commit evil deeds (headed by Michael Keaton – the original cinematic Batman of the 1980s resurgence, who then become Birdman, and here flies around in a metallic bird costume reminiscent of that Oscar-nominated role).
While the film delves into the usual high school cliches of awkward first love, the straightforward quest to stop villainy doesn’t go anywhere interesting, and apart from one shocking revelation which momentarily promises excitement, the execution is very by-numbers.
The brightest spark is Holland (whose breakout role in the Boxing Day tsunami tragedy The Impossible was breathtaking), a young British actor whose foray into American blockbusters is admirable, nailing Parker’s juvenile insecurities and squeaky adolescent voice, and he’s set to play Spidey for several films to come.
But Keaton is predictable, and the one-dimensional female characters weighed down by the male gaze (one is all short skirts and doe eyes), irrelevant sexual comments (towards Marisa Tomei’s Aunt May by a shop owner and waiter who have one line each) and Peter’s stammering ineptitude at romance.
It’s cute and clever that in this Avengers-friendly world, school kids are lectured at by videos of Captain America, but the script’s jokes (both in- and out-) are few and far between. And there can’t be anyone left who enjoys longwinded ‘‘battle’’ scenes between man and machine as the overlong film draws to a close.
Despite its initial promise, Homecoming isn’t quite the rapturous welcome you were hoping for. – Sarah Watt