Are singletons doomed?
Being alone can be hard work – just ask anyone trying to buy a house in Auckland on one income.
FACEBOOK boss Sheryl Sandberg once dared to say that the most important career decision a woman makes is whether to have a partner, and who that partner is.
This is one of those awkward things you’re not allowed to say out loud. Sandberg was tarred and feathered by the evervigilant PC police, but she’s right – just ask anyone (male or female) trying to buy a house in Auckland on a single income.
Of course, Sandberg’s claim would have been entirely uncontroversial throughout almost all of human history, and still wouldn’t raise an eyebrow in most parts of the world. A Chinese friend of mine was shocked when she found out that some people marry purely for love (‘‘surely the parents wouldn’t allow it?’’).
It’s great that mate selection is no longer based on the size of the herd of goats or bushel of figs gained from the union, but those same economic forces are still at work. In one US longitudinal study, the net worth of married couples increased by 77 per cent more than their single peers.
Marriage is a very middleclass tradition, which means people inclined to tie the knot are usually wealthier and better educated than the population at large. However, that doesn’t fully explain the difference.
The obvious advantage of shacking up with someone is it takes a big chunk out of your expenses, sometimes cutting them in half. That means cheaper rent, utilities, subscriptions, insurance, rates, and the possibility of reducing to a one-vehicle household.
Then there’s the division of labour. If Alice wants to work 70-hour weeks to climb the corporate ladder and make big bucks, it’s a lot easier 123rf with a hubby to take care of the household duties. In a good partnership, the roles flip around depending on who needs support at any given point in time. Finally, home ownership. Even if you’re making good money, the banks prefer lending to couples, who have lower expenses and the safety buffer of two income streams. A couple can also apply the full force of their higher income to paying off the mortgage, which saves a huge amount of interest over the years. If you’re in the forever alone camp, things aren’t looking good right now. Of course, there are some advantages to being the sole ruler of your financial empire. You can supercharge your savings by living as frugally as you want, whereas your spouse might not be down with the mince-on-toast budget. If you happen to fall for the sort of person who blows all their pay packet (and some of yours) on car modifications or new designer wardrobes, you can pretty much kiss that house deposit goodbye.
When money personalities clash like this, it doesn’t bode well. One in three marriages end in divorce, which not only wipes out all the benefits of the partnership, but reverses them. Remember that US study? The big wealth increase only went to those couples who stayed married. Divorcees did so badly that they ended up behind their single friends, who had steadily chugged along the whole time.
This might provide some consolation to any lonely souls out there filling their empty house with cats. Human relationships are a bit of a punt. If they’re good, they’re great, and if they’re bad, they’re horrid.
Cats are selfish, manipulative, and basically evil incarnate, but at least they haven’t figured out how to drain your bank account, drown you in lawyers’ fees, and leave you picking up the pieces of your shattered finances.
‘ If you’re in the forever alone camp, things aren’t looking good right now.
Got a burning money question? Email Budget Buster at richard.meadows@thedeepdish.org, or hit him up on Twitter at @MeadowsRichard.