Secret of male bulimia
Horses to rein in young offenders Kiwi men are suffering from body issues and eating disorders, but shame prevents them from speaking up, writes Jehan Casinader.
A New Plymouth judge believes horse communication can reduce youth offending, and hopes to bring the initiative to New Zealand.
District court judge Lynne Harrison said it would be the first of its kind in the country.
‘‘We’re short on the ground here in Taranaki. There are resources but we can do more for our at-risk youth and young people,’’ she said.
‘‘I just think this programme, if I can get it here and up and running, it would really add value or add options to the people who I see come through my court and to avoid them coming through my court.’’
She was inspired after taking part in a horse communication workshop at a wellness retreat in Australia. ‘‘It was nothing like I had ever experienced before.’’
There she met Sue Spence, founder of Horses Helping Humans, who runs programmes and workshops in Australia focused on building self-esteem, reducing stress, improving communication skills, controlling anger and anxiety management.
The Gold Coast woman, who teaches communication skills using the principles of natural horsemanship, was in New Plymouth on Friday to deliver a private presentation at the Nice Hotel about her programme.
There she told of her work with troubled youth and how horse communication had helped turn lives around.
She spoke about a boy with 36 criminal offences on his rap sheet who took part in the programme.
‘‘He’s now got a job, a little girl and he’s never re-offended,’’ Spence said.
‘‘I could talk all day about the testimonies of our students.’’
Harrison said having Spence talk was an opportunity to introduce the concept to people who might be interested in becoming involved.
‘‘It’s still an idea and it’s only an idea.
‘‘It’s a hope and a dream and a wish that I can help bring something like this to the Taranaki community.’’
Spence, who has about 40 years’ equestrian experience, said working with horses proved effective because they were attuned to human energy and body language – particularly breathing.
She learned this herself decades ago when searching for a way to manage her own anxiety. ‘‘I was once happy. I was focused. I felt in control. I was given praise. I achieved my goals. I loved people, community and friendship. Trust and integrity were important to me. And I loved life. It’s amazing how one thing can take all that away from you: food. It was my true friend. It has become my enemy.’’
These are the words of Luke Chivers, a young Tauranga man caught in the grip of an eating disorder.
Confused, misunderstood and desperately lonely, Chivers began keeping a journal to document his experience with bulimia, an illness that trapped him in an endless cycle of bingeing and purging. His journal entries are punctuated by words like ‘‘disgust’’, ‘‘lies’’ and ‘‘regret’’.
From the age of 20, bulimia hijacked his brain. It drove him to spend $100 a day on junk food. He would scoff it in secret, before hunching over a toilet bowl for hours, forcing himself to vomit, up to 16 times a day.
As Chivers’ weight began to fall – and his teeth began to fall out – the illness nearly killed him. But against the odds, he found the strength to ask for help. After four years, he is finally on the road to recovery.
Tonight, Chivers is taking a brave and unusual step: he’s telling his story on TVNZ1’s Sunday programme. Never before has a Kiwi man opened up on national television about the cost of his eating disorder.
There’s a simple reason for that: when it comes to body issues, our culture demands absolute silence from men. But unless we’re willing to allow more males to take their own lives, the silence, shame and stigma need to stop – right now.
Back in July, Welsh rugby referee Nigel Owens sent shockwaves across the sporting world, when he revealed that he has battled bulimia for three decades.
It began in his late teens, when, struggling with his sexuality and ashamed of being fat, he began making himself sick after every meal. It still often returns during periods of stress.
And in May, English cricketer Freddie Flintoff revealed how being teased for carrying too much weight, he would vomit in the changing rooms in between innings. Flintoff realised he had a problem when he found himself in the toilet of a Dubai hotel, spewing up a $750 meal.
These men are smart, highly paid professionals who have greater access to doctors,
nutritionists and psychologists than the rest of us. Their success relies on keeping their bodies in good nick, and yet they’ve abused their bodies, in a quest to improve their self-esteem.
For generations, we’ve believed a destructive myth: that guys are exempt from the pressure to have perfect bodies.
We fondly cling to the quaint belief that men hunt and play rugby – but never look in the mirror. Meanwhile, a lucrative male cosmetics and fashion industry has sprung up.
Social media empires have been built upon the painfully self-conscious traits of young